One Thousand and One AUs

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by Andrew on Tue Feb 18, 2014 10:02 pm

I'm assuming "To the most powerful" is the hint so

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forbes_Magazine%27s_List_of_The_World%27s_Most_Powerful_People

VLADIMIR PUTIN ARE YOU KIDDING ME

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by no mom its ironic on Tue Feb 18, 2014 10:08 pm

vladimir putin is not greek

it is somewhat kind of not somewhat indirectly related to achilles and is not his heel nor his invincibility

more like it's related to his deadedness

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by you're not my supervisor on Wed Feb 19, 2014 11:52 am

Hm... I need to find my copy of the Illiad and the Odyssey.

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by no mom its ironic on Fri Feb 21, 2014 1:38 am

yooooo hurry potato

Chapter Six

The first thing that came to Brad's attention was the fact that the school was not Victorian in style. He found this, actually, mildly disappointing. "I thought you said it was really old-fashioned," he muttered, holding his birdcage tight. There was no response, not even an unnecessary caw because Darkblithe couldn't be bothered to answer. "…Darkblithe?"

Brad frowned and looked down at his birdcage, then recoiled as he realized it was empty. He only barely managed to keep himself from yelling out the worst profanities he knew. Where had Darkblithe gone? How had he gone? The last time Brad had tried to make Darkblithe go sort of far away, he'd… the results had been less than pleasant.

The kids who had been on the car with him seemed to notice his distress. "Hey, are you okay?" he heard the boy ask, but he was too panicked to notice. He looked out at the school. He couldn't have gone far… it was on a grassy hill, weeping willows by the river, bridge, dark woods over there… the school itself was not very interesting, it basically looked like a bunch of modern school stacked on top of one another. Brad had every right to be disappointed.

"Darkblithe!" Brad yelled at the top of his lungs. In the corner of his eye he saw the black-haired girl jump and mouth an expletive, while the other two just frowned and came over to him. The black-haired girl started and quickly joined them.

"Hey, Brad! Calm down." Darkblithe appeared behind the black-haired girl. She jumped as the man placed a hand on her shoulder—surprising, touch was selective as well. The two others looked at her oddly, presumably because they couldn't see Darkblithe

"Sorry, thought I felt a, uh, I dunno." She smiled nervously, covering it up quickly. The boy and the brown-haired girl thought nothing of it, clearly.

"Are you okay?" The boy asked him, frowning.

"I, uh…" Brad just frowned at Darkblithe. Where could he have possibly gone? It didn't make any sense. "I'm alright."

Or at least he was, until the headmaster appeared, dressed in his usual red, dragon hide coat. He gently moved the brown-haired boy and girl aside, then fidgeted with his shirt collar. "I'm sorry," he said softly, looking straight at Brad. The boy felt uncomfortable. "Did you say Darkblithe?"

"I…" Brad looked around, at Darkblithe, who didn't seem to care, and at the girl, who looked frozen with fear. She slowly and almost imperceptibly shook her head 'no.' "N… no… sorry, I thought I lost my, uh, raven." He supposed the school hadn't been told about Darkblithe. That was going to be a problem. "I, uh, kinda… said damn."

The headmaster frowned. Brad could tell Dragon didn't really believe him. He looked at the birdcage Brad held in his hands, where Darkblithe had already seated himself. The raven looked curiously at the headmaster and let out a rather convincing caw. Dragon sighed and shook his head.

"Darkblithe? What's so special about that name?" the brown-haired boy piped up. Dragon pressed his lips into a thin line.

"I'll tell you later," he said softly. "But… I'd like to see your raven," he added, turning to Brad.

"Why?" Brad immediately asked defensively, holding the birdcage closer to him. "It's okay to bring him, right?"

"I believe the policy was owls, cats, and toads," the brown-haired girl piped up.

"Yeah, well, Darkblithe's been my pet since childhood…" Brad's mind raced to find an excuse that would also allow him to keep Darkblithe around him while he was in class. "I mean, I get really… nervous… when he's not around…"

'Darkblithe?' the brown-haired girl mouthed incredulously at the headmaster.

"Hey! My, uh, cousin named him." Brad just knew Darkblithe was shaking his head. Well, he didn't have any other name to call him! Was the own guy's fault.

"Darkblithe?" the brown-haired boy asked curiously. Brad stared at him like he was insane. Oh, right… he was probably a Muggle-born, given how he seemed confused about pretty much everything, and his not coming prepared with a school uniform.

"Was your cousin a sup—" the brown-haired girl was abruptly cut off by the black-haired girl. Brad was relieved she came to his defense. (A/N: Max was gonna say 'supporter' :> )

"Hey, stop interrogating him! He looks nervous enough already." The brown-haired girl seemed to accept this. The other girl looked at Brad, but she didn't seem… open, or friendly, more like… scared? Brad frowned slightly. He'd have to ask Darkblithe about that later. Also, how she'd been able to feel the guy when he'd touched her shoulder. Maybe he should ask her? But it seemed like she might not be… very open to that.

"Um, well." The headmaster coughed awkwardly and ran a hand through his hair. "You better hurry along. But," he added quickly, "I would like to see that raven." (A/N: oh yeah people are able to see Darkblithe when he's a raven.)

*~*~*~*

(A/N: In case you haven't gathered by now, this is written in a sort of limited third person. So far it's mostly been Arthur, last chapter and the last part of this chapter were Brad.)

"What was all that about?" Arthur asked as he walked with his friends up to his school. A man interrupted them with some empty carts. They left their luggage on the carts and politely thanked him for the service.

After that, Esther continued their conversation. "What part?"

"Darkblithe? The name sounds kinda… familiar." Arthur frowned. "Don't know from where, though."

"To be honest I'm surprised you've heard of the name at all," said Max. "Darkblithe… was the previous headmaster of this school, before it got all remodeled and re… uh… furbished?" She shrugged. "Anyway, he was…" She frowned, now. "He wasn't the greatest guy."

Esther seemed lost in thought as she fiddled with a chain around her neck Arthur hadn't noticed before. He shrugged it off. Must be nothing.

"Darkblithe... he was the previous headmaster of this school, but he was also one of the 'Triad.'" Esther paused. "They were… well, Darkblithe wasn't aligned with the other two. His only connection to them was by the collective name. The Triad… they were three extremely powerful wizard. Darkblithe, who mastered… the Dark Arts. Aqn practiced light. Chrono was…"

"I don't think anyone really knew much about Chrono, other than he and Aqn worked together to try and defeat Darkblithe. A few crazy people supported Darkblithe. I guess that boy's cousin must've been one of them."

"Still, it's not… not very nice to just say that about someone's close family!" Esther said quickly. "Anyway, Darkblithe basically took control of this school, but he disappeared seven years ago. Well… more accurately, he and Chrono disappeared seven years ago. Aqn…" She frowned. "He disappeared long before that. No one knows where he went, only that Chrono redoubled the fight, probably in his honor."

"Do you really have no idea what Chrono did?'" Arthur asked skeptically. Chrono? Chronology? Time?

"Well," Max replied. "Yeah. I mean. Sort of. Not really. His name suggests time but we've got no way to know."

"What?" Arthur asked, confused.

"Nevermind," Esther blurted out. "Come on, let's speed up or we'll get there the last. Last one there is a dumbbutt!" she called out cheerfully, then sprinted ahead. Arthur stared blankly at her as Max sped up to follow after her.

Okay, he normally didn't get girls, but he got these girls a lot less. As he was about to run after them, someone got in his way. A brown-haired boy, his hair messy and his face confused.

"Oh! Sorry," Arthur said as he dashed after Max and Esther. The boy looked after him.

"Wait! Where are we going?!" The boy yelled after him.

"To the school, duh!" Esther bellowed. "Speed up, dumbbutt!"

The boy looked even more confused, and Arthur couldn't help but laugh. Before he knew it everyone was laughing and the odd events with that one boy who had been in their car were forgotten.

Well, mostly.


Last edited by My name is Death on Mon Mar 10, 2014 7:38 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by no mom its ironic on Fri Feb 21, 2014 2:46 am

so I wASR WRITING MYTH AU BUT THEN MY BROTEHR DID THIS

"Yeah," said Comrade Elder. "By the way, have you ever considered the necessity of a vanguard party to lead the proletariat towards a dictatorship of the proletariat?"

"I… tried." I shrugged. "But I wasn't able to escape the capitalist bourgeois methods of thought that have been ingrained in me by the agitprop of the industrialist oppressor scum."

"Yeah," said Comrade Elder. "A dictatorship of the proletariat will be necessary if we are to reach true communism."

"What is true communism?" I asked. "Is it when we have no money?"

"This isn't a joke!" said Comrade Elder. "Comrade Arthur, you have truly been filled with doubleplus ungood thoughts. You must come to see the way of Marx and Lenin and Stalin."

"Hey!" said Comrade Max. "Stalin is not a true communist! He is against fellow comrades like Comrade Trotsky, of whom I am an -"

"Silence!" shouted Comrade Elder. "Trotsky is revisionist scum!" Comrade Elder revealed the ice pick she had been holding and used it to dispatch Traitor Max.

"What!" said I. "Ww-w—ww-what did you just do to Comrade -"

"Silence!" shouted Comrade Elder. "Traitor Arthur – I mean Max, is - I mean was – no Comrade of ours. He was too indoctrinated by the capitalist scum."

"Well... OK...at least he will have a happy place in heaven-" I began.

"Preposterous!" said Comrade Elder. "Comrade Max no longer exists! 'Religion is the opiate of the masses,' said Comrade Marx. Have you not been reading your ideology?! Are you a bourgeois capitalist pig scum human foot less than trash swine?!?!?!"

"I don't think that you can put words in that order," I said, respectfully. "Comrade Elder, perhaps you had better calm -"

"NO! I will calm down only when TRUE COMMUNISM HAS BEEN ACHIEVEDDDDD!!!!!!!" said Comrade Elder.

"Whatever you say, Comrade Elder…" I said.

cue laugh track

"Comrade Elder really is a true disciple of Stalin!" I said.

scene becomes black except for circle which closes in on my smile and then goes to black as 'Moscow Nights' begins to play.

THIS DOCUMENT HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR PUBLICATION BY THE PUBLICATION CONTROL DEPARTMENT OF THE PRESIDIUM OF THE GENERAL COMMUNIST PEOPLE'S ORGAN OF THE FIFTH COMMUNIST INTERNATIONAL, COMRADE MY BRO DIRECTING. 2/20/1985. LONG LIVE STALIN.

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by Andrew on Fri Feb 21, 2014 11:45 am

Welp, rip

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by you're not my supervisor on Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:07 pm

Oh no... My evil male clone... Poor guy. WHAT DID MY EVIL MALE CLONE EVER DO TO YOU, ELDER'S BROTHER?

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Feb 22, 2014 1:22 am

he was bourgeois capitalist pig scum human foot less than trash swine

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Feb 22, 2014 8:12 pm

Chapter Seven

One of the reasons that I didn't sleep very well was that while I was tired, I was still pumped full of adrenaline from the excitement and kept on tossing and turning and staring at the ceiling groaning internally.

Another reason was that when I closed my eyes, I still saw.

Well, not real sight, I suppose. It certainly wasn't from my eyes because I doubted they could go through the floor and navigate all the way to the front hall. And also I couldn't… really see people? I mean, I knew things were there, but everything that wasn't a person was bright white. I could see myself, by the way, except… I was sort of golden and sparkly.

That was weird. I mentally frowned and decided to look if I could see anywhere else. I looked downwards and sort of… willed myself to do so as well. I was surprised when I just blinked through the floor and found myself in a lower hallway. I presumed it was a hallway. There was a white rectangle over there, and over there, and over there. I presumed those were doors. I continued moving through the house until I reached the stairwell.

From there I went through the doors and saw three… beings, I couldn't quite identify them. One was a fox, I believed… they looked like a fox. A nine-tailed fox. More like the outline of a nine-tailed fox, filled in with jet black mixed with brilliant gold. I presumed that to be Elder. The other outline of a nine-tailed fox I presumed to be Max. She was more of a silvery white and, oddly, somehow distinguishable from the bright white which surrounded her. There wasn't much of a difference between coloration, but… well, magic, I supposed.

Before I moved on to the last outline, I came closer to Elder and Max's outlines. Strangely, I could feel power radiating from them. Elder's was more forceful, but Max's was gentler. Still, they felt just about the same in strength.

The last outline was the biggest, and as I began moving towards it, I could tell it was more powerful than Elder or Max's. It appeared as a man, but a man too big, too tall… just like the woman I'd seen earlier in the morning. Odd. That suggested a correlation.

The man's outline was colored in like lightning. He looked like a storm, grey clouds and bright streaks of electric blue lightning mixing and fighting throughout his being. Who was he? Okay, he must be the big guy. Lightning… storms… it sounded familiar. Oh! Zeus. Zeus. The sort of ruler of the Greek gods, king of the heavens while his brothers Poseidon and Hades got the sea and, uh, Hades. Hades got Hades, which was called Hades because it was Hades'? Or was Hades called Hades because he got Hades? (A/N: Razz )

Or did he technically get something else?

I mean we'd never exactly studied Greek Mythology, these weren't things I was going to remember.

As my mind wandered off, I realized my sort of out-of-body sight was beginning to fade into blackness. Good. Maybe I could actually get some sleep.

So the big guy was Zeus. Was I (not me, the person who'd talked to me) related, then? Okay, the thing was called BoltMessenger. Wasn't Hermes the sort of messenger? Yeah, there wasn't an I in there. I must be missing something.

Whatever. Sleep.

Sleep is good.

*~*~*~*

I was woken up, rather rudely, by someone banging on my door and exclaiming something I couldn't hear muffled by the wall. I groaned reluctantly and held a pillow over my head. Suddenly I heard Elder yell as loudly as she could, which was rather loud.

"Wake up, dumbbutt!"

I jumped and heard muffled laughter. Slowly I removed the pillow from my head. Ugh… Briefly I wondered if I could do the seeing thing again. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate…

Nothing happened.

I didn't really know what I'd been expecting, in all honesty.

"Come on," I heard her groan exasperatedly. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes. I felt… not really tired. The just-woke-up sort of tired, not the tired mixed with adrenaline I'd felt beforehand. I wondered what time it was and looked around.

I hadn't noticed a clock before, but it read 8:23. Good a time as any to wake up for Elder's replacement school thing.

"Okay! I'm gonna go brush my teeth 'cause I didn't get the chance to before!" I yelled as loudly as I could. Wait, she had those fox ears. Did that mean she could hear better? Maybe I'd just hurt her ears.

…dammit Arthur, shut up and get yourself cleaned up.

When I emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, I decided I didn't need to change my clothes or anything. A total inspection of my room could take place later, and maybe I would be able to make sense of that weird canvas. I looked at it and frowned as I saw a grey storm cloud painted on it, a bright lightning bolt coming out from it. What? How? Why? When?

I decided that would also be something to investigate later and opened the door.

No one was outside. Maybe Elder had gotten bored and left. I looked around just to check—nobody there. Huh. Shrugging, I began to walk down the hallway.

A door opened and a jet black creature roared in my face.

"HOLY CROW WHAT THE HELL—" I stumbled backwards and only barely kept from falling on my butt. The next thing I was aware of was a sudden flare of fire, but when I blinked it had gone away and I saw a tame little flame resting in Elder's hands.

"Damn," she said, looking from the flame to me. "Didn't expect something that big." She grinned mischievously and twitched her ears. Had she really just…?

"Not cool, Elder," I muttered in reply. "What was that for?" I crossed my arms and gave her a glare. I did not appreciate being startled. Especially not like that. "And what did you even do?"

"I screamed in your face," Elder replied. The fire blinked out. "I was testing a hypothesis!"

"What, whether I did not appreciate being suddenly startled by a screaming fox-person?"

"No, whether you could affect magic. 'Cause you see, Max and I have a theory about what you are…" I looked at Elder blankly. "…which I'm not going to tell you, if that's what you were wondering."

"Are you going to send me on a journey of self-discovery?" I asked sarcastically.

"Uh, nah, but we aren't going to give you all the answers." Elder shrugged. "Anyway, come downstairs for breakfast. I don't think Diagnosis is around—"

"Diagnosis?"

"Diagnosis," Elder stated flatly as if it were obvious who 'Diagnosis' was. "I don't think he's around so everything should be cool. The time he was around shit went down and I don't particularly feel like going through that again."

"Diagnosis."

"Yeah. Diagnosis. Hepatitis—"

"Hepatitis?!" I felt ready to tear my hair out. "What are you even?"

"Mildly similar sounding nicknames." Elder grinned. "What, are you feeling Arthurt by my masterful wordplay?"

I decided to settle with looking at her as disappointedly as I could.

"Pfft." She just chuckled. "Anyway, let's head downstairs. Aren't you hungry?"

"Yeah," I admitted. I paused, thinking about the weird seeing-not-seeing thing I'd done when I was trying to get to sleep and considered telling Elder about it. She looked at me strangely, noticing my expression.

"Something wrong?"

"Well, I…" I paused again. "I did a thing, earlier?"

"A thing? What kind of thing?" Elder looked at me curiously, but with a trace of concern.

"Like… I was trying to go to sleep, but instead of going to sleep, I sort of…" I waved my hands around. "My sight… sort of went independently from my eyes. It wasn't really sight, I guess, but anyway, I sorta… went through the floor, and then I saw… you, I think, and Max, and uh… some other guy. Uh, Zeus, right? The big guy. He was all…" I waved my hands around again.

I continued on. "Everything looked weird. Like you, you were a nine-tailed fox but really only the outline, you were jet black with… some spots of gold. Max was the same, but white, and Zeus… if it was Zeus… he was all stormy and there were lightning bolts and stuff. And, uh, I saw me too. And I was gold." I looked at her expectantly, as if she would somehow be able to make sense of my explanation.

Elder pressed her lips into a thin line, then said softly, "Shit."

"Is that a bad thing?"

She shook her head, but then hesitated. "Well… I think we're going to have to hold a meeting. But… don't try to do it again, okay? Just…" She shrugged. "Take it from me, it's not a good idea."

"Why?"

Elder seemed to ignore me and instead began walking down the stairwell. "Come down or I'll eat your breakfast," she called upward.

Hmm. I wasn't going to just accept all these unsolved mysteries. Maybe I would try the weird sight-thing again. I closed my eyes and concentrated. Nothing happened. Again.

Well.

I'd try later, then.

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by Andrew on Sat Feb 22, 2014 8:17 pm

Calling it now

f-USE = z-EUS

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by no mom its ironic on Thu Feb 27, 2014 1:49 am

most of this chapter is filler but then we get the big reveal

Chapter Eight

As we made our way down the stairs, I began to hear voices in the background. I strained to hear them—something along the lines of 'what is this' was all I could pick up. That did not sound very promising given that whoever it was was probably eating breakfast. I kept my mouth shut anyway and followed Elder as she walked down the hall and through a door left slightly ajar into the dining room.

"Hey Fuse!" Max exclaimed cheerfully. She was sitting at the table, eating something that… was that fish? Fish for breakfast?

Guy was staring at… seafood ramen? What?

"Oh shit, Posey was doing breakfast today! I forgot!" Elder jumped impossibly high and landed in her seat, then grabbed the bowl of ramen away from Guy. She looked around, her ears pricked, and a pair of chopsticks zoomed towards her.

"What?" I finally managed to say after looking around me. Bloons was nowhere to be seen and there were some assorted foods scattered around the table. As far as I could tell it was fish, fish, fish, fish… I had no idea what that was… fish, fish, fish, fish, and finally, fish.

"Elder, what even is this?" Guy gestured towards the thing that I had no clue about. Elder looked up at him, noodles dangling from her mouth. She slurped them up quickly and leaned over to see what he was talking about.

"Fishcakes!" she exclaimed joyfully, returning to her ramen. Guy and I looked at each other, more than mildly confused.

"Fuse, uh, take a seat," Guy said, gesturing to the seat across from him. He turned to Max, who was still eating fish. "Do we have any non-fish things in the fridge?"

"I dunno," Max replied, shrugging. "Check if you want to." Guy nodded and stood up, heading through a door into the kitchen. He tugged at the refrigerator door and began to look through.

"Get ramen if you know what's good for you," Elder muttered darkly. Guy rolled his eyes.

"You took mine," he called back.

"You weren't eating it!" Elder yelled far too loudly.

"I had no clue what that purple-pink shit was. No but seriously, what is that stuff?" Guy continued to look through the fridge. "Pizza, jello, chocolate, bacon… do we actually have anything that's not junk food?"

"You're just jealous because you have to actually eat reasonably." Elder finished her noodles and looked at the soup for a moment seeming forlorn, before picking up the bowl and chugging the soup.

"Yeah because I'm a normal human being, unlike you lot!" Guy groaned and took something out from the refrigerator, slamming the door shut and walking over to the microwave. "You okay with pizza, Fuse?" he asked as he put the time in for the microwave.

"Sure." I sat awkwardly at the table. Elder finished off her soup and placed the bowl on the table, then stared at it for a few moments. I looked at her oddly. "What are you?..."

She held up a finger in front of my face. "Shoosh… it's probably just taking a while…" She continued to stare at the bowl expectantly. "Guy, please tell me you didn't say no refills!"

"I didn't!" Guy yelled back.

"Well I am going to complain to… whoever's responsible for the refills. Who's responsible for the refills?"

"No clue," Max said helpfully.

The microwave beeped and Guy opened it quickly, taking out two slices of pizza. "I'm certainly not responsible. Don't need you having another reason to yell at me." He walked to the table and set down the plate with the pizza.

"Aha! Here it is!" Elder grinned widely as her bowl filled again, only for her grin to suddenly disappear. "Shit," she whispered, then stood up and yelled loudly, "Diagnosis! I know you're there, you little shit!"

Guy looked curiously at Elder's bowl, as did I. It appeared to be filled with… wine. Oh. Dionysus, god of wine. I shrugged and picked up a pizza slice, beginning to chomp away at it. Guy chuckled a little as Elder continued yelling.

"It's not funny, dammit! This better not have been a conspiracy between you and Guy or I swear…" Elder let her sentence trail off threateningly while Guy began eating his pizza slice, purposefully looking away from Elder, who began to glare at him. "And whenever you do this, you always do shitty wine too!"

A man appeared in the doorway. His hair was a long, curly brown, and his eyes were but slits with his wide, gappy smile. Awkwardly enough, he was literally wearing only a towel around his waist, while he held a cup of wine in his hand. "Shitty wine? How rude!" he exclaimed.

"And you don't even have the decency to get yourself dressed!" Elder practically screamed up at the ceiling before practically collapsing into her chair. "Now please answer this honestly, did you conspire with Guy about this?"

"It's not exactly like you can threaten me," Dionysus pointed out. He looked into his cup and drank it all, the cup refilling as soon as he turned from it to Elder. "If anything, I should be threatening you."

"Yeah well, I can tell your dad," Elder snapped, crossing her arms and glaring at Dionysus. He had no reply to that.

"Okay, no offense, but that is a terrible threat, Elder," Max pointed out. I quickly finished off my pizza and thought about whether or not I should somehow join into the conversation.

"Yeah well I don't know shut up" was Elder's eloquent response. After a quick pause she added on, "dumbbutt," before falling silent again.

"Very scary," Dionysus said clearly sarcastically, but overdoing it a bit. He chuckled to himself and spoke again. "So what do you demand of me for keeping silent about this incident to Zeus?"

"Replace my damn ramen, brat," Elder spat.

Dionysus rolled his eyes. "Fine." He was gone in the blink of an eye and Elder automatically turned to her ramen, greedily slurping up the noodles. I stared blankly for a moment before turning to look at Guy.

"Was that a conspiracy?" I asked him softly. I had no idea why Dionysus and Guy would be conspirators because they certainly didn't seem like they would somehow be friends or allies, to be honest. But hey, Elder had reason to suspect it, I supposed.

Guy grinned mischievously and left the table without saying a word. Elder grumbled to herself, glaring at Guy as he left.

"So are they… friends? Or…" I waved my hands around. Elder looked up at me.

"Oh, well, they bonded over their stupid dumbbutt I dunno. I don't think Guy would be legally allowed to drink even if he was still alive." Elder shrugged. "But then again, I have terrible memory, so it's entirely possible that he actually is able to drink. In any case they're like, buds or something. Co-conspirators. Shits."

"Alright," I said a bit uneasily. I'd gathered that Elder and Guy didn't quite get along, but I didn't think that they'd actually be so bristly with each other. It was kind of surprising, to be honest, because I also didn't think Guy was capable of doing stuff like that. Elder, well, I wouldn't be surprised if she murdered someone.

I stood up from the table. Maybe I'd explore the house a little. Think about that weird canvas. However, as I made my way towards the door, I bumped into someone. At first I didn't think anything of it, but then I froze in my tracks and the sight thing happened again.

I think whoever it was was talking, because I heard some sort of noise, but it seemed to echo around me and I had no clue what they were saying. Instead I looked at their outline.

Waves, sea, water. I could practically smell the sea standing a few feet away from whoever it was, and power radiated from them. Almost equal to Zeus', but it was a rough estimate. This must be Poseidon.

Just like that, I snapped out of the sight and stumbled backwards, blinking. Poseidon frowned. His hair was white—bright white, and he had a freaking long beard. I didn't bother to notice anything else about him because Elder tackled me suddenly and unexpectedly.

"I thought I told you not to try it again!" I was going to protest that I hadn't tried to do the sight thing again, it had happened totally against my will—but Max pried Elder off of me.

"You okay?" she asked, with genuine concern. I tried to regain my breath and stood up.

"Uh, I think so." I looked around. Poseidon was gone. Shit.

A plethora of curses and swear words were coming from Elder's mouth. "You weren't supposed to have choices this soon! Hell, you weren't supposed to have a single choice this soon!" She paced around. I had no idea what was wrong.

"Hey Arthur, go to your room," Max said softly, looking at Elder. "Chill," she said simply.

"But the whole plan got fucked up, how could we have known about this bullshit, of course she would do that! Goddess of Discord would've known exactly what we wouldn't have logically planned. Fuck you too, Eris. Fuck you too." Elder covered her face with her hands and groaned.

Eris. Who was that? Max looked at me again, reinforcing what she had said earlier. I slowly backed away then dashed through the hall, up the stairwell, and back to my room. As I shut the door, I caught sight of the canvas again.

Now there was another little symbol on it, this one of the sea. Shit. I was supposed to choose between what, Zeus and Poseidon? For what? 'To the most powerful.' Two choices? No, there was so much canvas left.

Something about this sounded very familiar.

I looked around and spotted the computer, which I quickly made my way to, sitting down in front of it. Eris. Search up Eris. I guessed at the spelling and quickly pulled up the Wikipedia article. After a quick search through it, I found something.

The Golden Apple of Discord.

'To the most beautiful.'
Me, being golden when I saw myself.

The canvas, 'to the most powerful.'

I realized it almost immediately and stared at the screen in shock.

I was the apple.

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by Andrew on Thu Feb 27, 2014 10:44 am

WELL AIN'T THAT FITTING

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by you're not my supervisor on Thu Feb 27, 2014 1:50 pm

I have fish, you have fish, that popcorn is fish, IT'S ALL FISH. ALL OF IT.

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by no mom its ironic on Thu Feb 27, 2014 8:35 pm

popcorn fish sounds interesting

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by Andrew on Thu Feb 27, 2014 9:15 pm

Popcorn chicken is good, it could work

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by you're not my supervisor on Fri Feb 28, 2014 12:38 pm

Yeah, we should try popcorn fish. I mean, there's no way it could end in us burning our houses down or anything.

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:23 am

uh let's not

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by you're not my supervisor on Sat Mar 01, 2014 3:09 pm

Good idea.

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Mar 01, 2014 11:10 pm

Chapter Nine

I was rather rudely interrupted in the middle of my revelation by Guy messaging me. Reluctantly I decided to accept; maybe I'd be able to squeeze some information out of him.

8:53 AM – johann (J) joined the chat
8:54 AM – politicalcorruption (Fuse) joined the chat
8:54 AM – J: Hey Fuse
8:54 AM – J: I was wondering if you might like to hop on the Minecraft server?
8:54 AM – J: We've got a lot of free time and everything about the house, including the electronics, is magic or something. It's super-fast and there's no lag.
8:54 AM – J: Uh… you there?
8:54 AM – Fuse: Oh
8:54 AM – Fuse: Yeah
8:54 AM – Fuse: I uh
8:54 AM – Fuse: …
8:54 AM – Fuse: I just figured out, you know, what I am
8:54 AM – J: Well.
8:54 AM – johann (J) panicked and accidentally closed the window while attempting to contact threesquaredlegend (은혜)
8:54 AM – Fuse: what
8:55 AM – Iris (I) joined the chat
8:55 AM – Fuse: Ooooh, you're Iris
8:55 AM – Fuse: Wait, who's Iris?
8:55 AM – I: That's a bit rude.
8:55 AM – I: I'm goddess of the rainbow and messenger of the gods, in any case.
8:55 AM – I: I also am the one who made this messaging system possible.
8:55 AM – Fuse: Wait… what about the other guy…
8:55 AM – Fuse: …Hermes, right?
8:55 AM – I: There was a vote.
8:55 AM – I: The unanimous decision was that rainbows were prettier.
8:55 AM – Fuse: Okay
8:55 AM – Fuse: So, I should leave now
8:55 AM – Fuse: Right?
8:55 AM – I: Go ahead, I won't mind.
8:55 AM – I: Dean is busy informing 은혜.
8:55 AM – politicalcorruption (Fuse) left the chat
8:55 AM – Iris (I) left the chat

I leaned back in my chair and stared at the canvas a little more waiting for something to happen; probably for Guy to start messaging me again. I would actually like to go on the server and play some Minecraft; after the whole mess, something relatively normal seemed like a good idea. I continued to mull the whole thing over in my head.

So, I was supposed to choose between… gods, I supposed. I hadn't gone into the weird sight-thing for Dionysus, though. Major gods, then? Alright, so Zeus, Poseidon and Hades for the Greek pantheon. What about Rome's? What about… everything else? I looked at the canvas, feeling a little bit sick. This…

What sort of choice was this?

Why was it mine?

Didn't the Apple of Discord cause war? But… instead I was given a lie to live and peace was kept. A few hours ago (only a few hours ago? It felt like years), that must've been her. She had spoken to me, in my head. I rubbed my fingers against my forehead and tried to remember. Something about the ones who had experience finding me… So the Greek gods must've found me first, then, and they knew better than to fall for her tricks again.

This time though it wasn't 'to the most beautiful' and it wasn't just among those three goddesses. She had wanted complete and utter destruction. Total chaos, as gods fought to be acknowledged as the most powerful. A chill ran down my spine as I imagined what could've happened.

Why me, though? Why a living being? A boy, a boy who'd started out a baby just like everyone else and went through the same things as everyone else too? What was the reward in having me, an animate being which required sustenance and care, over a golden apple?

I groaned and put my head in my hands. This was confusing, terribly confusing. Sighing, I closed my eyes.

8:55 AM – johann (J) joined the chat
8:55 AM – threesquaredlegend (은혜) joined the chat
8:55 AM – 은혜: what's up
8:55 AM – 은혜: it better not be a waste of my time
8:55 AM – J: So you didn't pick up on it yet?
8:55 AM – 은혜: hopefully you're not talking about him
8:55 AM – 은혜: because if so, no
8:55 AM – 은혜: and additionally
8:55 AM – 은혜: i was just about to call them all for a meeting
8:55 AM – 은혜: posey gave me an earful
8:55 AM – J: …
8:55 AM – J: So, should we just act like everything is normal?
8:55 AM – 은혜: that would be nice i guess
8:55 AM – 은혜: so sure
8:56 AM – 은혜: anyway he still knows
8:56 AM – J: Also, did you find anything to support that crazy theory of yours?
8:56 AM – 은혜: first off: not crazy
8:56 AM – 은혜: second off: yes, but it can't be confirmed until everyone's here
8:56 AM – J: How long will that take?
8:56 AM – 은혜: a day or two
8:56 AM – 은혜: anyway act chill for now
8:56 AM – 은혜: because if my theory is correct
8:56 AM – 은혜: the last thing we want is him in distress
8:56 AM – 은혜: clear?
8:56 AM – 은혜: i'm leaving now
8:56 AM – 은혜: going to help defend against eris
8:56 AM – 은혜: she's probably already gone but posey ordered me sooooo
8:56 AM – 은혜: well keep a close eye on him
8:56 AM – 은혜: the second last thing we want is her to contact him again
8:56 AM – threesquaredlegend (은혜) left the chat
8:56 AM – J: Understood.
8:56 AM – johann (J) left the chat

I jerked suddenly and blinked, shaking my head and blinking again. I must've fallen aslee… Huh. Okay, I guessed that if I had fallen asleep, it probably wasn't completely on my part. I was surrounded entirely by all-encompassing darkness, yet I could see myself perfectly fine—and seemed to be glowing as well. Frowning, I looked down at my hands.

Gold, shining gold. Was I doing the sight thing again? I was distracted, however, by the numerous languages spiraling around my arm. I caught a glimpse of English—'to the most powerful' again. Taking a reasonable guess, I assumed that I wasn't doing the sight thing again and yelled.

"Hello!"

My voice was muffled, as if the darkness had swallowed it up. I gulped as I saw—no, felt—someone getting closer. Despite my seemingly not doing the sight thing, I could still feel their power. It was jerky, chaotic, and… very powerful.

"You must be Eris," I said, looking in the general direction of the goddess of Discord. I knew she was smiling, and that made me shudder. I didn't want anything to do with her.

"I would be," she replied, her voice discordant. Not one voice, a chorus of voices, one raspy, one silky smooth. One high, one low. "I suppose you could also call me your mother, given a few technicalities. I believe I would be more considered your creator than your mother."

"Why make me?"

Her voice remained discordant, but I could feel the smugness in it nevertheless. "To create chaos, discord, war. I tried it once before, why wouldn't it work again? Of course, the wrong pantheon found it first, but thirteen years is the blink of an eye for an immortal."

"I'm not going to let you use me," I said defiantly. "Your creation is clearly flawed if it refuses to obey you. Besides, that wasn't the question. I wanted to know why you made me a human being; something alive. I need care, food, shelter, water… more of a burden than a trophy."

Still smug, somewhat amused this time. "You're not a trophy," she said calmly.

"I'm fairly certain something with 'to the most powerful' written all over it is hard to classify as anything other than a trophy." I rolled my eyes. "Please, tell me how I'm not… a trophy." I hesitated as I spoke the words, because I was… acknowledging it. I was a trophy. Nothing else.

"You're not a trophy," she repeated, softer this time. "You are, however, a weapon."

I began to open my mouth to speak but suddenly felt cold, then nothing at all. Surprised, I looked down at myself. My legs were dissolving into a powdery mist. I felt Eris' presence disappear.

Someone was shaking me and also cursing very loudly.

"Fuse! God dammit, Fuse! Shit. Right after Elder told me to…" I blinked and found Guy holding onto one of my arms with a viselike grip, the other hand running through his short hair. His eyes were wide, panicked. He was wearing a loose, dark blue sweatshirt, and worn and faded denim jeans. I blinked at him again and he seemed to relax just slightly.

"Holy shit, Fuse. Please tell me she didn't talk to you?" He still held his hand at the back of his head, staring at me with pleading eyes. I swallowed and looked away from him.

"Sorry," I offered with a shrug and a nervous smile. He swore loudly and covered his face with his hands.

"She's gonna kill me for this," he muttered. "I already died once I don't want to go through that again…" He removed his hands from his face and looked at me with desperation in his gaze. "What did she tell you?"

I looked at him with my mouth open but not a sound came out. My mouth was suddenly dry and I had to swallow a few times before I could speak.

"She told me I was a weapon," I said softly.

I could see the panic in his eyes. "Shit. Shiit. Shiiiiit. She was right. She was fucking right. Her theory was right. Look. Look. Calm down. You. And me. Look let's just…" Guy looked up at the ceiling. "…pretend this never happened? Let's play Minecraft or something."

"Sure," I said, somewhat relieved. I still felt somewhat on edge and playing a game seemed like a great idea. He must be talking about Elder; she'd mentioned some sort of theory when she'd startled me before breakfast.

"I'll go see if Bloons wants to play too. I'm just going to go fetch my laptop. Just… stay here and calm down, okay?" He dashed out of my room before I could respond.

I blinked and decided I'd avoid thinking about it too much.

Guy came back a few minutes later and started up the server. I smiled as he reminded me of the IP and allowed myself to just get caught up in our adventures. We discovered a black sheep and called it Elder for the heck of it. Bloons got on as well, and we mucked around and made a house in a cave again because… why not.

I had just about put it out of my mind when Elder appeared in the doorway. Her hair was messy and she looked a bit beat up, a nick in her ear and a thin scratch along her arm. "Fucking imps," she muttered, which was enough of an explanation. "You playing Minecraft?"

"Yeah, would you like to—hold up, creeper…" Guy dispatched of the monster with a few clicks. "You should have it saved, right? The server."

"She talked to him, didn't he?" I was about to say 'I'm right here' but decided against it. Guy sighed.

"Yeah," he admitted.

"What did she say to you?" This question was directed to me.

"I…" I paused and froze up, looking up at Elder. She looked tired, worn out. A bit… scared, even. "She said I was a weapon."

I saw Elder mutter a curse to herself. "I'd hoped I wasn't right," was all she said before she left the room, softly shutting the door behind her.

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by Andrew on Sat Mar 01, 2014 11:19 pm

Everything is super srs now

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Mar 01, 2014 11:32 pm

plot twist: fuse is actually vladimir putin

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by Andrew on Sat Mar 01, 2014 11:33 pm

HEIL PUTIN

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Mar 01, 2014 11:45 pm

i

that's not

no

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by you're not my supervisor on Sun Mar 02, 2014 3:25 pm

"The unanimous decision was that rainbows are prettier."

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Re: One Thousand and One AUs

Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Mar 03, 2014 12:29 am

Chapter Ten

Hours flew by as we were preoccupied with, initially, keeping Elder from murdering us all over the fact that we'd replaced her with a sheep. After that, we began to explore and, after about half an hour, Bloons stumbled upon a mushroom island. We killed all but two of the Mooshrooms, which we then fenced in (Elder making some sarcastic joke about animal cruelty) for later use. After harvesting the mushrooms we established a bridge from the island to the mainland and began to expand upon our rooms.

Max interrupted Guy and me by knocking upon the door. "Any of you interested in lunch?" she asked after I opened the door. I suddenly realized that I was actually hungry, Guy seeming to do the same as he looked up at Max. She'd changed, I noticed, into a dark red, long-sleeved shirt, with white shorts—and her hair was brown and her eyes were grey again, with only one white tail visible. She looked at us both expectantly.

"Oh, uh, yeah." He turned back to his laptop and informed Elder and Bloons quickly. "I'll shut down the server after they're gone and come later," he said dismissively. Max nodded and we both left the room, wordlessly heading down the stairs to the kitchen.

I attempted to make conversation as we began walking down the hall. "So," I began, then paused for thought. "What happened after the…" Max raised an eyebrow at me, then closed her eyes and sighed.

"Well, they thought it… major enough that Elder actually managed to convince them to hold a full meeting. Afterwards Elder headed off to get rid of her—" I cut Max off abruptly.

"Yeah, I… kinda know it's Eris now."

Max smiled sheepishly. "Force of habit, sorry. Uh… she headed off to get rid of the last of Eris' minions because Posey was feeling particularly pissed, as was the big—Zeus," she corrected quickly, then moved on. "Uh, so Zeus decided that maybe calling a meeting would be reasonable."

"Who's coming?" I asked. Every god in existence? Every powerful god?

"Everyone," Max replied. "Well, everyone major. Everyone they think is worth being called over." She groaned thinking of it. "It's going to be terrible."

"When are they coming?"

"Tomorrow, I think, early in the morning. Probably ridiculously early in the morning, which is going to make it that much worse. Anyway, we should probably eat instead of chatting all day long about stupid stuff."

"It's not all fish again, is it?" I was feeling just a bit nervous about that; not that I had anything against fish, but… I didn't particularly feel like it.

"Well, tuna salad sandwiches okay with you?"

"Okay as FUCK," I heard Elder say, running up behind me and jumping up and down excitedly. Her wounds appeared to have disappeared and she'd changed clothes to a navy blue skirt reaching to her knees and a grey short-sleeved shirt. She grinned excitedly. "Tuna salad sandwiches are the best."

"You said that about peanut butter jelly sandwiches too."

"They're both the best," Elder retorted. "And before you mention burgers they don't count. They're burgers."

"They're sandwiches," Max said with a reproachful tone as Elder squeezed past her. "They—they're still sandwiches," she repeated, sounding more confused now.

"They're burgers," Elder snapped back, seating herself at the table and snatching up at least half a dozen sandwiches. Max sighed and followed after her, sitting down with her hands neatly folded in her lap and her tail gently swaying from side to side.

After standing there confused for a few moments I shook my head and smiled to myself, picking a seat just as Guy and Bloons walked into the kitchen, Bloons looking at Elder like she was crazy. She gave a traumatizing smile back, her mouth full of tuna salad sandwich. Guy looked at the plethora of tuna salad sandwiches then at me somewhat skeptically. I shrugged and took one, taking a bite and looking around. Guy shrugged as well and sat down across from me.

It looked like we weren't going to have any more unpleasant encounters with Dionysus, which was a good thing, I supposed. For a few minutes we ate in silence, though Bloons didn't touch his food at all. Elder somehow managed to finish before I did despite her having six or seven sandwiches and continuously hoarding more. She coughed and began to talk.

"Well, if you didn't know already, I finally managed to convince the idiots to hold a full meeting." Guy looked at Elder with an open mouth, shocked.

"A full meeting? With everyone?" He still held a half-finished sandwich in his hand but seemed unconcerned as the tuna began to fall onto the table.

"Yup," Elder replied, smiling and crossing her arms over her chest. "Finally. I've been bothering them about it for so long and they finally gave in." She continued smiling smugly, but no one else seemed as pleased with her 'success' as she did. Guy noticed his dripping sandwich in the nick of time and managed to salvage it. Bloons gave Elder a dirty look, but turned away as soon as she turned to look at him. Max just held her head in her hands.

I looked at Elder questioningly. She sighed.

"If my theory is correct, then this may either be the best thing that could happen or the worst thing that could happen. Depends if Eris decides to fuck with us again." Elder gritted her teeth and her hands gripped her arms tightly. "If she does, then…"

"What even is your theory?" I asked pointedly, turning in my chair to face Elder. She looked at me for a few moments and sighed, then shook her head. I just continued to stare at her. She stared back but finally rolled her eyes and began to speak.

"Someone already earned the trophy." She said 'someone' very pointedly, as if I knew them.

"Who?..." was what first came out, followed directly by "What?" That didn't make any sense! That sounded completely crazy, in all honesty!

"What do you do to seven to get five?" she replied. I rolled my eyes. Some sort of puzzle, I guessed?

"Subtract by two?" Was that supposed to be my hint?

"Exactly," she said mysteriously, picking up as many tuna sandwiches as she could hold and leaving the room. I stared after her, confused. Max looked up to see Elder leaving and followed after her, Bloons excusing himself as well.

Guy was chewing his sandwich thoughtfully across from me. "What?" he asked, his mouth full. "I'm not going to tell you either."

"What sort of hint is 'subtract by two'?" I replied quickly, sighing and looking down at my half-eaten sandwich, halfheartedly picking it up and beginning to eat it again.

"It's all you need to know," Guy said just as mysteriously as Elder did. I was going to have to get used to not having straight answers, I guessed. As I finished up my sandwich, I stood and left to head back to my room without saying anything. Guy just gave a grunt as I left.

Subtract by two?

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