One Thousand and One AUs

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Post by no mom its ironic on Thu Feb 27, 2014 1:49 am

most of this chapter is filler but then we get the big reveal

Chapter Eight

As we made our way down the stairs, I began to hear voices in the background. I strained to hear them—something along the lines of 'what is this' was all I could pick up. That did not sound very promising given that whoever it was was probably eating breakfast. I kept my mouth shut anyway and followed Elder as she walked down the hall and through a door left slightly ajar into the dining room.

"Hey Fuse!" Max exclaimed cheerfully. She was sitting at the table, eating something that… was that fish? Fish for breakfast?

Guy was staring at… seafood ramen? What?

"Oh shit, Posey was doing breakfast today! I forgot!" Elder jumped impossibly high and landed in her seat, then grabbed the bowl of ramen away from Guy. She looked around, her ears pricked, and a pair of chopsticks zoomed towards her.

"What?" I finally managed to say after looking around me. Bloons was nowhere to be seen and there were some assorted foods scattered around the table. As far as I could tell it was fish, fish, fish, fish… I had no idea what that was… fish, fish, fish, fish, and finally, fish.

"Elder, what even is this?" Guy gestured towards the thing that I had no clue about. Elder looked up at him, noodles dangling from her mouth. She slurped them up quickly and leaned over to see what he was talking about.

"Fishcakes!" she exclaimed joyfully, returning to her ramen. Guy and I looked at each other, more than mildly confused.

"Fuse, uh, take a seat," Guy said, gesturing to the seat across from him. He turned to Max, who was still eating fish. "Do we have any non-fish things in the fridge?"

"I dunno," Max replied, shrugging. "Check if you want to." Guy nodded and stood up, heading through a door into the kitchen. He tugged at the refrigerator door and began to look through.

"Get ramen if you know what's good for you," Elder muttered darkly. Guy rolled his eyes.

"You took mine," he called back.

"You weren't eating it!" Elder yelled far too loudly.

"I had no clue what that purple-pink shit was. No but seriously, what is that stuff?" Guy continued to look through the fridge. "Pizza, jello, chocolate, bacon… do we actually have anything that's not junk food?"

"You're just jealous because you have to actually eat reasonably." Elder finished her noodles and looked at the soup for a moment seeming forlorn, before picking up the bowl and chugging the soup.

"Yeah because I'm a normal human being, unlike you lot!" Guy groaned and took something out from the refrigerator, slamming the door shut and walking over to the microwave. "You okay with pizza, Fuse?" he asked as he put the time in for the microwave.

"Sure." I sat awkwardly at the table. Elder finished off her soup and placed the bowl on the table, then stared at it for a few moments. I looked at her oddly. "What are you?..."

She held up a finger in front of my face. "Shoosh… it's probably just taking a while…" She continued to stare at the bowl expectantly. "Guy, please tell me you didn't say no refills!"

"I didn't!" Guy yelled back.

"Well I am going to complain to… whoever's responsible for the refills. Who's responsible for the refills?"

"No clue," Max said helpfully.

The microwave beeped and Guy opened it quickly, taking out two slices of pizza. "I'm certainly not responsible. Don't need you having another reason to yell at me." He walked to the table and set down the plate with the pizza.

"Aha! Here it is!" Elder grinned widely as her bowl filled again, only for her grin to suddenly disappear. "Shit," she whispered, then stood up and yelled loudly, "Diagnosis! I know you're there, you little shit!"

Guy looked curiously at Elder's bowl, as did I. It appeared to be filled with… wine. Oh. Dionysus, god of wine. I shrugged and picked up a pizza slice, beginning to chomp away at it. Guy chuckled a little as Elder continued yelling.

"It's not funny, dammit! This better not have been a conspiracy between you and Guy or I swear…" Elder let her sentence trail off threateningly while Guy began eating his pizza slice, purposefully looking away from Elder, who began to glare at him. "And whenever you do this, you always do shitty wine too!"

A man appeared in the doorway. His hair was a long, curly brown, and his eyes were but slits with his wide, gappy smile. Awkwardly enough, he was literally wearing only a towel around his waist, while he held a cup of wine in his hand. "Shitty wine? How rude!" he exclaimed.

"And you don't even have the decency to get yourself dressed!" Elder practically screamed up at the ceiling before practically collapsing into her chair. "Now please answer this honestly, did you conspire with Guy about this?"

"It's not exactly like you can threaten me," Dionysus pointed out. He looked into his cup and drank it all, the cup refilling as soon as he turned from it to Elder. "If anything, I should be threatening you."

"Yeah well, I can tell your dad," Elder snapped, crossing her arms and glaring at Dionysus. He had no reply to that.

"Okay, no offense, but that is a terrible threat, Elder," Max pointed out. I quickly finished off my pizza and thought about whether or not I should somehow join into the conversation.

"Yeah well I don't know shut up" was Elder's eloquent response. After a quick pause she added on, "dumbbutt," before falling silent again.

"Very scary," Dionysus said clearly sarcastically, but overdoing it a bit. He chuckled to himself and spoke again. "So what do you demand of me for keeping silent about this incident to Zeus?"

"Replace my damn ramen, brat," Elder spat.

Dionysus rolled his eyes. "Fine." He was gone in the blink of an eye and Elder automatically turned to her ramen, greedily slurping up the noodles. I stared blankly for a moment before turning to look at Guy.

"Was that a conspiracy?" I asked him softly. I had no idea why Dionysus and Guy would be conspirators because they certainly didn't seem like they would somehow be friends or allies, to be honest. But hey, Elder had reason to suspect it, I supposed.

Guy grinned mischievously and left the table without saying a word. Elder grumbled to herself, glaring at Guy as he left.

"So are they… friends? Or…" I waved my hands around. Elder looked up at me.

"Oh, well, they bonded over their stupid dumbbutt I dunno. I don't think Guy would be legally allowed to drink even if he was still alive." Elder shrugged. "But then again, I have terrible memory, so it's entirely possible that he actually is able to drink. In any case they're like, buds or something. Co-conspirators. Shits."

"Alright," I said a bit uneasily. I'd gathered that Elder and Guy didn't quite get along, but I didn't think that they'd actually be so bristly with each other. It was kind of surprising, to be honest, because I also didn't think Guy was capable of doing stuff like that. Elder, well, I wouldn't be surprised if she murdered someone.

I stood up from the table. Maybe I'd explore the house a little. Think about that weird canvas. However, as I made my way towards the door, I bumped into someone. At first I didn't think anything of it, but then I froze in my tracks and the sight thing happened again.

I think whoever it was was talking, because I heard some sort of noise, but it seemed to echo around me and I had no clue what they were saying. Instead I looked at their outline.

Waves, sea, water. I could practically smell the sea standing a few feet away from whoever it was, and power radiated from them. Almost equal to Zeus', but it was a rough estimate. This must be Poseidon.

Just like that, I snapped out of the sight and stumbled backwards, blinking. Poseidon frowned. His hair was white—bright white, and he had a freaking long beard. I didn't bother to notice anything else about him because Elder tackled me suddenly and unexpectedly.

"I thought I told you not to try it again!" I was going to protest that I hadn't tried to do the sight thing again, it had happened totally against my will—but Max pried Elder off of me.

"You okay?" she asked, with genuine concern. I tried to regain my breath and stood up.

"Uh, I think so." I looked around. Poseidon was gone. Shit.

A plethora of curses and swear words were coming from Elder's mouth. "You weren't supposed to have choices this soon! Hell, you weren't supposed to have a single choice this soon!" She paced around. I had no idea what was wrong.

"Hey Arthur, go to your room," Max said softly, looking at Elder. "Chill," she said simply.

"But the whole plan got fucked up, how could we have known about this bullshit, of course she would do that! Goddess of Discord would've known exactly what we wouldn't have logically planned. Fuck you too, Eris. Fuck you too." Elder covered her face with her hands and groaned.

Eris. Who was that? Max looked at me again, reinforcing what she had said earlier. I slowly backed away then dashed through the hall, up the stairwell, and back to my room. As I shut the door, I caught sight of the canvas again.

Now there was another little symbol on it, this one of the sea. Shit. I was supposed to choose between what, Zeus and Poseidon? For what? 'To the most powerful.' Two choices? No, there was so much canvas left.

Something about this sounded very familiar.

I looked around and spotted the computer, which I quickly made my way to, sitting down in front of it. Eris. Search up Eris. I guessed at the spelling and quickly pulled up the Wikipedia article. After a quick search through it, I found something.

The Golden Apple of Discord.

'To the most beautiful.'
Me, being golden when I saw myself.

The canvas, 'to the most powerful.'

I realized it almost immediately and stared at the screen in shock.

I was the apple.

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Post by Andrew on Thu Feb 27, 2014 10:44 am

WELL AIN'T THAT FITTING

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Thu Feb 27, 2014 1:50 pm

I have fish, you have fish, that popcorn is fish, IT'S ALL FISH. ALL OF IT.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Thu Feb 27, 2014 8:35 pm

popcorn fish sounds interesting

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Post by Andrew on Thu Feb 27, 2014 9:15 pm

Popcorn chicken is good, it could work

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Fri Feb 28, 2014 12:38 pm

Yeah, we should try popcorn fish. I mean, there's no way it could end in us burning our houses down or anything.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:23 am

uh let's not

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Sat Mar 01, 2014 3:09 pm

Good idea.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Mar 01, 2014 11:10 pm

Chapter Nine

I was rather rudely interrupted in the middle of my revelation by Guy messaging me. Reluctantly I decided to accept; maybe I'd be able to squeeze some information out of him.

8:53 AM – johann (J) joined the chat
8:54 AM – politicalcorruption (Fuse) joined the chat
8:54 AM – J: Hey Fuse
8:54 AM – J: I was wondering if you might like to hop on the Minecraft server?
8:54 AM – J: We've got a lot of free time and everything about the house, including the electronics, is magic or something. It's super-fast and there's no lag.
8:54 AM – J: Uh… you there?
8:54 AM – Fuse: Oh
8:54 AM – Fuse: Yeah
8:54 AM – Fuse: I uh
8:54 AM – Fuse: …
8:54 AM – Fuse: I just figured out, you know, what I am
8:54 AM – J: Well.
8:54 AM – johann (J) panicked and accidentally closed the window while attempting to contact threesquaredlegend (은혜)
8:54 AM – Fuse: what
8:55 AM – Iris (I) joined the chat
8:55 AM – Fuse: Ooooh, you're Iris
8:55 AM – Fuse: Wait, who's Iris?
8:55 AM – I: That's a bit rude.
8:55 AM – I: I'm goddess of the rainbow and messenger of the gods, in any case.
8:55 AM – I: I also am the one who made this messaging system possible.
8:55 AM – Fuse: Wait… what about the other guy…
8:55 AM – Fuse: …Hermes, right?
8:55 AM – I: There was a vote.
8:55 AM – I: The unanimous decision was that rainbows were prettier.
8:55 AM – Fuse: Okay
8:55 AM – Fuse: So, I should leave now
8:55 AM – Fuse: Right?
8:55 AM – I: Go ahead, I won't mind.
8:55 AM – I: Dean is busy informing 은혜.
8:55 AM – politicalcorruption (Fuse) left the chat
8:55 AM – Iris (I) left the chat

I leaned back in my chair and stared at the canvas a little more waiting for something to happen; probably for Guy to start messaging me again. I would actually like to go on the server and play some Minecraft; after the whole mess, something relatively normal seemed like a good idea. I continued to mull the whole thing over in my head.

So, I was supposed to choose between… gods, I supposed. I hadn't gone into the weird sight-thing for Dionysus, though. Major gods, then? Alright, so Zeus, Poseidon and Hades for the Greek pantheon. What about Rome's? What about… everything else? I looked at the canvas, feeling a little bit sick. This…

What sort of choice was this?

Why was it mine?

Didn't the Apple of Discord cause war? But… instead I was given a lie to live and peace was kept. A few hours ago (only a few hours ago? It felt like years), that must've been her. She had spoken to me, in my head. I rubbed my fingers against my forehead and tried to remember. Something about the ones who had experience finding me… So the Greek gods must've found me first, then, and they knew better than to fall for her tricks again.

This time though it wasn't 'to the most beautiful' and it wasn't just among those three goddesses. She had wanted complete and utter destruction. Total chaos, as gods fought to be acknowledged as the most powerful. A chill ran down my spine as I imagined what could've happened.

Why me, though? Why a living being? A boy, a boy who'd started out a baby just like everyone else and went through the same things as everyone else too? What was the reward in having me, an animate being which required sustenance and care, over a golden apple?

I groaned and put my head in my hands. This was confusing, terribly confusing. Sighing, I closed my eyes.

8:55 AM – johann (J) joined the chat
8:55 AM – threesquaredlegend (은혜) joined the chat
8:55 AM – 은혜: what's up
8:55 AM – 은혜: it better not be a waste of my time
8:55 AM – J: So you didn't pick up on it yet?
8:55 AM – 은혜: hopefully you're not talking about him
8:55 AM – 은혜: because if so, no
8:55 AM – 은혜: and additionally
8:55 AM – 은혜: i was just about to call them all for a meeting
8:55 AM – 은혜: posey gave me an earful
8:55 AM – J: …
8:55 AM – J: So, should we just act like everything is normal?
8:55 AM – 은혜: that would be nice i guess
8:55 AM – 은혜: so sure
8:56 AM – 은혜: anyway he still knows
8:56 AM – J: Also, did you find anything to support that crazy theory of yours?
8:56 AM – 은혜: first off: not crazy
8:56 AM – 은혜: second off: yes, but it can't be confirmed until everyone's here
8:56 AM – J: How long will that take?
8:56 AM – 은혜: a day or two
8:56 AM – 은혜: anyway act chill for now
8:56 AM – 은혜: because if my theory is correct
8:56 AM – 은혜: the last thing we want is him in distress
8:56 AM – 은혜: clear?
8:56 AM – 은혜: i'm leaving now
8:56 AM – 은혜: going to help defend against eris
8:56 AM – 은혜: she's probably already gone but posey ordered me sooooo
8:56 AM – 은혜: well keep a close eye on him
8:56 AM – 은혜: the second last thing we want is her to contact him again
8:56 AM – threesquaredlegend (은혜) left the chat
8:56 AM – J: Understood.
8:56 AM – johann (J) left the chat

I jerked suddenly and blinked, shaking my head and blinking again. I must've fallen aslee… Huh. Okay, I guessed that if I had fallen asleep, it probably wasn't completely on my part. I was surrounded entirely by all-encompassing darkness, yet I could see myself perfectly fine—and seemed to be glowing as well. Frowning, I looked down at my hands.

Gold, shining gold. Was I doing the sight thing again? I was distracted, however, by the numerous languages spiraling around my arm. I caught a glimpse of English—'to the most powerful' again. Taking a reasonable guess, I assumed that I wasn't doing the sight thing again and yelled.

"Hello!"

My voice was muffled, as if the darkness had swallowed it up. I gulped as I saw—no, felt—someone getting closer. Despite my seemingly not doing the sight thing, I could still feel their power. It was jerky, chaotic, and… very powerful.

"You must be Eris," I said, looking in the general direction of the goddess of Discord. I knew she was smiling, and that made me shudder. I didn't want anything to do with her.

"I would be," she replied, her voice discordant. Not one voice, a chorus of voices, one raspy, one silky smooth. One high, one low. "I suppose you could also call me your mother, given a few technicalities. I believe I would be more considered your creator than your mother."

"Why make me?"

Her voice remained discordant, but I could feel the smugness in it nevertheless. "To create chaos, discord, war. I tried it once before, why wouldn't it work again? Of course, the wrong pantheon found it first, but thirteen years is the blink of an eye for an immortal."

"I'm not going to let you use me," I said defiantly. "Your creation is clearly flawed if it refuses to obey you. Besides, that wasn't the question. I wanted to know why you made me a human being; something alive. I need care, food, shelter, water… more of a burden than a trophy."

Still smug, somewhat amused this time. "You're not a trophy," she said calmly.

"I'm fairly certain something with 'to the most powerful' written all over it is hard to classify as anything other than a trophy." I rolled my eyes. "Please, tell me how I'm not… a trophy." I hesitated as I spoke the words, because I was… acknowledging it. I was a trophy. Nothing else.

"You're not a trophy," she repeated, softer this time. "You are, however, a weapon."

I began to open my mouth to speak but suddenly felt cold, then nothing at all. Surprised, I looked down at myself. My legs were dissolving into a powdery mist. I felt Eris' presence disappear.

Someone was shaking me and also cursing very loudly.

"Fuse! God dammit, Fuse! Shit. Right after Elder told me to…" I blinked and found Guy holding onto one of my arms with a viselike grip, the other hand running through his short hair. His eyes were wide, panicked. He was wearing a loose, dark blue sweatshirt, and worn and faded denim jeans. I blinked at him again and he seemed to relax just slightly.

"Holy shit, Fuse. Please tell me she didn't talk to you?" He still held his hand at the back of his head, staring at me with pleading eyes. I swallowed and looked away from him.

"Sorry," I offered with a shrug and a nervous smile. He swore loudly and covered his face with his hands.

"She's gonna kill me for this," he muttered. "I already died once I don't want to go through that again…" He removed his hands from his face and looked at me with desperation in his gaze. "What did she tell you?"

I looked at him with my mouth open but not a sound came out. My mouth was suddenly dry and I had to swallow a few times before I could speak.

"She told me I was a weapon," I said softly.

I could see the panic in his eyes. "Shit. Shiit. Shiiiiit. She was right. She was fucking right. Her theory was right. Look. Look. Calm down. You. And me. Look let's just…" Guy looked up at the ceiling. "…pretend this never happened? Let's play Minecraft or something."

"Sure," I said, somewhat relieved. I still felt somewhat on edge and playing a game seemed like a great idea. He must be talking about Elder; she'd mentioned some sort of theory when she'd startled me before breakfast.

"I'll go see if Bloons wants to play too. I'm just going to go fetch my laptop. Just… stay here and calm down, okay?" He dashed out of my room before I could respond.

I blinked and decided I'd avoid thinking about it too much.

Guy came back a few minutes later and started up the server. I smiled as he reminded me of the IP and allowed myself to just get caught up in our adventures. We discovered a black sheep and called it Elder for the heck of it. Bloons got on as well, and we mucked around and made a house in a cave again because… why not.

I had just about put it out of my mind when Elder appeared in the doorway. Her hair was messy and she looked a bit beat up, a nick in her ear and a thin scratch along her arm. "Fucking imps," she muttered, which was enough of an explanation. "You playing Minecraft?"

"Yeah, would you like to—hold up, creeper…" Guy dispatched of the monster with a few clicks. "You should have it saved, right? The server."

"She talked to him, didn't he?" I was about to say 'I'm right here' but decided against it. Guy sighed.

"Yeah," he admitted.

"What did she say to you?" This question was directed to me.

"I…" I paused and froze up, looking up at Elder. She looked tired, worn out. A bit… scared, even. "She said I was a weapon."

I saw Elder mutter a curse to herself. "I'd hoped I wasn't right," was all she said before she left the room, softly shutting the door behind her.

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Post by Andrew on Sat Mar 01, 2014 11:19 pm

Everything is super srs now

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Mar 01, 2014 11:32 pm

plot twist: fuse is actually vladimir putin

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Post by Andrew on Sat Mar 01, 2014 11:33 pm

HEIL PUTIN

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Mar 01, 2014 11:45 pm

i

that's not

no

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Sun Mar 02, 2014 3:25 pm

"The unanimous decision was that rainbows are prettier."

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Mar 03, 2014 12:29 am

Chapter Ten

Hours flew by as we were preoccupied with, initially, keeping Elder from murdering us all over the fact that we'd replaced her with a sheep. After that, we began to explore and, after about half an hour, Bloons stumbled upon a mushroom island. We killed all but two of the Mooshrooms, which we then fenced in (Elder making some sarcastic joke about animal cruelty) for later use. After harvesting the mushrooms we established a bridge from the island to the mainland and began to expand upon our rooms.

Max interrupted Guy and me by knocking upon the door. "Any of you interested in lunch?" she asked after I opened the door. I suddenly realized that I was actually hungry, Guy seeming to do the same as he looked up at Max. She'd changed, I noticed, into a dark red, long-sleeved shirt, with white shorts—and her hair was brown and her eyes were grey again, with only one white tail visible. She looked at us both expectantly.

"Oh, uh, yeah." He turned back to his laptop and informed Elder and Bloons quickly. "I'll shut down the server after they're gone and come later," he said dismissively. Max nodded and we both left the room, wordlessly heading down the stairs to the kitchen.

I attempted to make conversation as we began walking down the hall. "So," I began, then paused for thought. "What happened after the…" Max raised an eyebrow at me, then closed her eyes and sighed.

"Well, they thought it… major enough that Elder actually managed to convince them to hold a full meeting. Afterwards Elder headed off to get rid of her—" I cut Max off abruptly.

"Yeah, I… kinda know it's Eris now."

Max smiled sheepishly. "Force of habit, sorry. Uh… she headed off to get rid of the last of Eris' minions because Posey was feeling particularly pissed, as was the big—Zeus," she corrected quickly, then moved on. "Uh, so Zeus decided that maybe calling a meeting would be reasonable."

"Who's coming?" I asked. Every god in existence? Every powerful god?

"Everyone," Max replied. "Well, everyone major. Everyone they think is worth being called over." She groaned thinking of it. "It's going to be terrible."

"When are they coming?"

"Tomorrow, I think, early in the morning. Probably ridiculously early in the morning, which is going to make it that much worse. Anyway, we should probably eat instead of chatting all day long about stupid stuff."

"It's not all fish again, is it?" I was feeling just a bit nervous about that; not that I had anything against fish, but… I didn't particularly feel like it.

"Well, tuna salad sandwiches okay with you?"

"Okay as FUCK," I heard Elder say, running up behind me and jumping up and down excitedly. Her wounds appeared to have disappeared and she'd changed clothes to a navy blue skirt reaching to her knees and a grey short-sleeved shirt. She grinned excitedly. "Tuna salad sandwiches are the best."

"You said that about peanut butter jelly sandwiches too."

"They're both the best," Elder retorted. "And before you mention burgers they don't count. They're burgers."

"They're sandwiches," Max said with a reproachful tone as Elder squeezed past her. "They—they're still sandwiches," she repeated, sounding more confused now.

"They're burgers," Elder snapped back, seating herself at the table and snatching up at least half a dozen sandwiches. Max sighed and followed after her, sitting down with her hands neatly folded in her lap and her tail gently swaying from side to side.

After standing there confused for a few moments I shook my head and smiled to myself, picking a seat just as Guy and Bloons walked into the kitchen, Bloons looking at Elder like she was crazy. She gave a traumatizing smile back, her mouth full of tuna salad sandwich. Guy looked at the plethora of tuna salad sandwiches then at me somewhat skeptically. I shrugged and took one, taking a bite and looking around. Guy shrugged as well and sat down across from me.

It looked like we weren't going to have any more unpleasant encounters with Dionysus, which was a good thing, I supposed. For a few minutes we ate in silence, though Bloons didn't touch his food at all. Elder somehow managed to finish before I did despite her having six or seven sandwiches and continuously hoarding more. She coughed and began to talk.

"Well, if you didn't know already, I finally managed to convince the idiots to hold a full meeting." Guy looked at Elder with an open mouth, shocked.

"A full meeting? With everyone?" He still held a half-finished sandwich in his hand but seemed unconcerned as the tuna began to fall onto the table.

"Yup," Elder replied, smiling and crossing her arms over her chest. "Finally. I've been bothering them about it for so long and they finally gave in." She continued smiling smugly, but no one else seemed as pleased with her 'success' as she did. Guy noticed his dripping sandwich in the nick of time and managed to salvage it. Bloons gave Elder a dirty look, but turned away as soon as she turned to look at him. Max just held her head in her hands.

I looked at Elder questioningly. She sighed.

"If my theory is correct, then this may either be the best thing that could happen or the worst thing that could happen. Depends if Eris decides to fuck with us again." Elder gritted her teeth and her hands gripped her arms tightly. "If she does, then…"

"What even is your theory?" I asked pointedly, turning in my chair to face Elder. She looked at me for a few moments and sighed, then shook her head. I just continued to stare at her. She stared back but finally rolled her eyes and began to speak.

"Someone already earned the trophy." She said 'someone' very pointedly, as if I knew them.

"Who?..." was what first came out, followed directly by "What?" That didn't make any sense! That sounded completely crazy, in all honesty!

"What do you do to seven to get five?" she replied. I rolled my eyes. Some sort of puzzle, I guessed?

"Subtract by two?" Was that supposed to be my hint?

"Exactly," she said mysteriously, picking up as many tuna sandwiches as she could hold and leaving the room. I stared after her, confused. Max looked up to see Elder leaving and followed after her, Bloons excusing himself as well.

Guy was chewing his sandwich thoughtfully across from me. "What?" he asked, his mouth full. "I'm not going to tell you either."

"What sort of hint is 'subtract by two'?" I replied quickly, sighing and looking down at my half-eaten sandwich, halfheartedly picking it up and beginning to eat it again.

"It's all you need to know," Guy said just as mysteriously as Elder did. I was going to have to get used to not having straight answers, I guessed. As I finished up my sandwich, I stood and left to head back to my room without saying anything. Guy just gave a grunt as I left.

Subtract by two?

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Post by Andrew on Mon Mar 03, 2014 12:34 am

DANGIT ELDER

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Mar 03, 2014 12:36 am

<:

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Mon Mar 03, 2014 3:50 pm

I should draw a fanart of myself. Er, the me in the story.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sun Mar 09, 2014 2:47 am

Chapter Eleven

The rest of the day slipped by like a waking dream. I only recollect a few points from the evening; one, that I was largely confused by Elder's antics. Two, that Elder was being annoying and annoyingly mysterious. Three, Bloons was being awkward. Four, there was more fish for dinner. Why. How much fish can you even consume in one day? Was this even healthy? There was no way all the food groups had been included. It was literally entirely fish.

Somehow I wasn't sick of it, probably through more weird magic. I sat on my bed, not exactly tired but without anything to do and sighed. How could so much have happened in literally one day? I chuckled a little to myself, looking up at the ceiling, when suddenly I felt a chill. Hesitantly I looked down from the ceiling and saw a woman standing in front of me.

Her hair was black, but without any shine, like it was a shadow in itself and her eyes gold; but eerie, unnatural. I couldn't realize why for a few moments until I realized that she had no pupils. Her features were angular, her fingers more like claws, loosely grasping a shining golden apple. A black dress draped over her body, a million layers of cloth that brushed against the floor as she moved.

"Get out," I said suddenly and forcefully, then blinked. Where had that come from? She sighed and studied her reflection in the apple's surface.

"That's quite a rude way to address your mother." I rolled my eyes. 'Mother.' She smirked without looking up. "Ruder to address your creator," she said with a certain level of scorn. "Mother is a bit more personal, hmm?" she drawled.

"Did I stutter?" I retorted quickly, pointing towards the door. "Get out."

"You're not the slightest bit curious how I got in in the first place? That's disappointing. I was sure I'd included that somewhere." She clucked her tongue but didn't move at all.

I glowered at her and stood up in front of her as close as I dared to get, still pointing at the door. "I said, get out."

She looked up at me now and smiled. "I already am," she quipped, then threw the apple up in the air, exclaiming "Catch!"

I fumbled and reached for it mostly by instinct, managing to catch it in one hand. I looked at Eris dubiously. "You're not here? Right."

"Honestly I'm here in your head, but that sounds a bit creepy, doesn't it?" She flashed me a smile, but it felt like a lie more than anything and I grew more fed up with her. "They can keep me out, but I'm already in, so what's the point?"

"You can't get in physically. Your power can get in. That's the point," I said, more to reassure myself than anything. She couldn't potentially do anything through me, right? That couldn't work. I was in a magic house, for goodness' sake.

"You're in," she said smartly, and I wasn't sure how to respond.

"You can't do anything through me," I hissed in reply.

"You can do everything by yourself," she said dismissively. "In any case, keep the apple! Gift from me to you, I suppose."

I blinked and remembered it was in my hand. For some reason, I didn't throw it away, though the thought crossed my mind. "What do you want?" I asked, sitting back down on the bed and placing the apple beside me. Eris calmly leaned against the wall and placed her hands over each other.

"What, I can't catch up with my ch—"

"Okay you can stop right there, I'm not listening anymore." I had just turned away from Eris when I heard her speak again.

"Subtract by two."

I froze and began to turn back. "How?..."

She rolled her eyes. "Wow, how did you turn out to be such an idiot? How do you think? I told you I'm here in your head. Ugh. In any case, I'm a bit surprised that stupid fox managed to catch on to my little plan. Ah, no matter. I'll have everything I want in a few days."

"You know that they're… You know everything?"

Eris smiled smugly. "There's a meeting tomorrow! Of course I know that. Can't bring everyone all at once though, but it can only be, what, three days before my plan works out at most?" She shrugged. "Probably sooner; maybe it'll all be done in two!"

I considered saying 'I'm not going to help you' but realized she would probably have some smart retort in store for me. Instead I pointed at the mostly empty canvas. "What's that there for? Did you put that there?"

"Hmm?" Eris followed my gesture and looked at the canvas with little interest. "Oh, that? Hmm, they really are foolish if you managed to get two in one day. And now they call a meeting! As if they're not aware that's what's going to bring them all down!" She grinned and clapped, laughing crazily. "Those foxes though," she said, the smile disappearing from her face, "I'm going to have to do something about them. They already knew about you, can't have them ruining my surprise too quickly, hmm?"

I stood back up. "If you think that—"

She smiled. "Go to sleep," she said softly, and then she disappeared.

I'm not sure why, but I did.

*~*~*~*

I had weird dreams.

I couldn't quite remember them when I woke up, but I was a bit relieved that I didn't do the sight thing again. All I could recall from my dreams were… magic? I think it was magic. I chuckled as I realized that that was at least partially true, then noticed the apple Eris had given me on its side, almost covered under the blanket. I picked it up and had half a mind to throw it away, but decided that maybe I should study it and it would give me a better idea of what was going on.

Eris might have a plan, but I was not going to go along with it. I tossed the apple in the air and caught it, then set it down on my desk beneath the canvas before heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

After I'd finished cleaning up, I decided to go downstairs and maybe see if there was breakfast downstairs. It was around seven fifty, so I figured it was fairly reasonable. As soon as I opened my door, whoever, I found Bloons in my face.

"Oh! Sorry," he said quickly. I jumped a little but quickly recovered. "You're not supposed to come downstairs right now."

"What? Why?" I frowned, scanning Bloons' face to see if there was an answer there. He looked as confused as I felt.

"Everyone else is basically yelling their heads off. I'd headed down to get breakfast but Elder and Max both told me to just come back up and tell you not to come down for breakfast."

"I don't get to eat anything?" I sighed. "What was even for breakfast?"

"No clue," Bloons replied with a shrug. "I didn't have any time to see."

"Welp," I muttered, looking down at my feet. "How likely do you think it is that Elder will kill me if I head down?"

"I don't think she'd be able to kill you, but she'd certainly try," Bloons offered helpfully. "I'm not entirely sure what was happening other than it pissed off the others."

"Best for us not to get involved then, huh?" I smiled and rubbed the back of my head. "Kinda wish I didn't have to go without breakfast though…"

Bloons shrugged and headed into his room. I sighed and headed back, discovering that my computer had turned itself on of its own accord. And it was making that stupid beeping noise. Who thought it was a good idea for that to be the notification sound?

Grumbling, I sat down and discovered it was none other than Dragon sending me a message. What? Wait, hadn't he been mentioned? Didn't Max say I'd be meeting him and Terra?

7:52 AM – Hephaestus (Lord Dragon) joined the chat
7:52 AM – Lord Dragon: Hey, Fuse.
7:52 AM – politicalcorruption (Fuse) joined the chat
7:52 AM – Fuse: what
7:52 AM – Fuse: I don't understand
7:52 AM – Fuse: You're Hephastus
7:52 AM – Fuse: Hephaestus*
7:52 AM – Fuse: Why is your name so hard to spell?
7:52 AM – Lord Dragon: Pfft
7:52 AM – Lord Dragon: Well, you can still call me Dragon if that's easier
7:52 AM – Fuse: Yeah, it is
7:52 AM – Fuse: Anyway
7:53 AM – Fuse: What's up?
7:53 AM – Lord Dragon: Well, because apparently people are banned from going downstairs to get breakfast, I'm apparently supposed to be in charge of breakfast instead
7:53 AM – Lord Dragon: I'm also telling Bloons right now, he should know where my room is.
7:53 AM – Lord Dragon: Riku's here as well
7:53 AM – Lord Dragon: You can finally figure out that in fact, all of your friends are super-powerful mythological beings
7:53 AM – Fuse: Except Guy
7:53 AM – Fuse: He's Aquaman
7:53 AM – Lord Dragon: Pfft
7:53 AM – Fuse: Anyway, I guess I'm going to be heading upstairs so
7:53 AM – Fuse: Cya
7:53 AM – politicalcorruption (Fuse) left the chat

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sun Mar 09, 2014 3:07 am

Chapter Seven

Their mad dash to the entrance was interrupted by someone calling "New students, follow me!" Esther stopped abruptly and groaned. Max caught up with her and stopped. They looked at each other as if deciding whether or not to do as the voice said. With a shrug, they just dashed off again while Arthur stared at them blankly.

He and the other boy slowed down to a leisurely pace as they continued to walk up the hill, past the stone bridge over the river and to the line of trees next to the entrance. Arthur looked at the boy curiously.

"What's your name?" he asked finally. The boy seemed mildly surprised, even jumped a little, but he smiled nervously and responded.

"Oh! Uh, Dean McKay."

"Arthur Andrews," Arthur replied. "So you're new too, huh?"

"Oh, yeah." Dean scratched the back of his head. "This guy just showed up at my door with a letter telling me that I was a wizard and magical and things. Then I came to California from across the country."

"You don't know anyone else who's all…" Arthur waved his hands, and somehow got his point across.

"No! I had no idea magic existed at all." Dean smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

"Me neither." Arthur and Dean both laughed.

"So you know those two girls?" Dean asked, pointing to the two shapes in the distance which Arthur could barely make out to be Max and Esther.

"Not very well," Arthur admitted. "I mean, we just sat on the train together. We've spent, what, an hour or so with each other? You don't become friends just like that."

"Yeah, I guess so," Dean replied. The voice yelled again. "New students, come follow me!"

"We should probably…" Arthur gestured towards where the voice had come from. Dean nodded and they began running towards the voice's origin.

As it turned out, it happened to be a man, presumably a teacher. His hair was dirty blond and his eyes blue, and he seemed stressed, watching complete chaos unfold before him. Boys were dashing everywhere and girls were standing around and chatting. There were probably many more children he hadn't managed to find yet.

He looked up and saw Dean and Arthur, seeming a bit relieved, at least until he took a second look at Arthur. Arthur saw him mutter something and frowned a little bit, but continued walking towards the man.

"Hello," he said, still looking fairly distressed, one hand on his head making his hair stand up erratically. "I'm Professor Scorp, teach Charms here at Blue Celadon… I'm supposed to be rounding up the new students, but…" He gestured sheepishly at the chaos surrounding him. "…yeah… Anyway, we'd better be heading off now. Follow me!" he bellowed again, managing to attract some attention. A bit begrudgingly, most of the children nearby began to walk towards him while others didn't seem to mind at all.

"Did I stutter?" Professor Scorp said in a considerably more threatening tone. Immediately the remaining children stood up and walked over, brushing grass off of their pants awkwardly and acting as if nothing had happened. The professor sighed, smiled a warm smile and began walking at a leisurely pace towards the entrance of the school, closely followed by a pack of young students.

Arthur could already see that Esther and Max were gone, presumably already inside. He followed the professor as they came closer to the entrance. A black, iron fence surrounded the school, opening at a gate here. The door to the school was made out of wood, that he could tell, but the walls of the school were not uncommon brick. They entered the building and the professor stopped, allowing the students to take a look around.

"This is the great hall," he said quite simply, smiling a little to himself as the students took awed looks around. The floor was marble, speckled and streaked with color, the walls white and adorned with assorted tapestries and paintings as well as lights. The ceiling stretched upwards for what seemed like forever with the dark wooden beams polished and gleaming with the light from the chandeliers dangling downwards. In the middle of the room were assorted tables, made from wood. Their edges were uneven and looked burned, blackened even like charcoal, with bench seats already filled by older-looking students. However everything was polished and clean, a bit too clean in fact, making Arthur feel a little out-of-place and uncomfortable.

"Well that's enough gawking, come on, we've got to get you sorted into your houses," Professor Scorp said, gently pushing the nearest children along. It was now that Arthur saw the little vase made out of celadon. As they drew closer to it he could hear a sort of humming noise, soft and melodic and quite pleasant, really. It sounded like a lullaby more than anything.

"And here's the headmaster!" Professor Scorp exclaimed, pointing towards the very end of the hall, where Lord Dragon stood in front of a podium, no microphone present in front of him. Arthur looked oddly at the sight; there was no way he could expect everyone to hear him! But when Dragon spoke, it was loud and clear.

"Hello!" he boomed out. "It's my pleasure to welcome all of you students to—or back to—the new year at Blue Celadon School of the Magical Arts! I have a few announcements to make. First off, since it appears I haven't stressed this enough already, you're not allowed to go into the section of the library labeled 'the Triad.' I've said that at least a hundred times, I swear. Additionally!" he exclaimed, taking a look around the room as people had begun to talk. "A few students have come from our sister school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and will be staying with us for the first semester. Do welcome them to our school and I expect no trouble being made. No, seriously, don't make trouble. The mess last year took us two weeks to clean up." Dragon cleared his throat and continued.

"And now we've got the thing where the vase decides which House you're in. For the last time, being a Blade is not terrible, okay? Neither is being a Shield, or a Knight, or a Mind. Everyone is a different person and you should not judge someone simply by what House they're in. Maybe, just maybe, you could've seven years ago. But not today." Dragon then left the podium, leaving Arthur a bit bemused.

"What now?" he heard Dean ask him. He shrugged and heard Dragon's voice again.

"Alright, we're going in alphabetical order. So first up… Arthur Andrews!"

you get no bonus points for guessing which house equals which but feel free i mean it's pretty obvious and i was just feeling kind of lazy with the names sooooo

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:51 am

Yes, the houses are obvious.

And since you're including, like, EVERYONE in the magical creature AU with the Greek gods and stuff, I have a guess as to what "minus two" means.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Mar 10, 2014 2:37 am

Chapter Eight

Esther looked up as soon as she heard the headmaster announcing the new students would now get to know what House they were in. "Better leave now," her sister told her, neatening her hair before nudging her. Esther nodded quickly and hurried over to the mass of new students. Max followed her after a few moments and they both mingled in with the mass, unable to locate Arthur. "Can you see him?" she whispered to her companion. "Do you have enough space?" she added as an afterthought.

He chuckled a little bit, being taller than everyone around him. "No one else would be aware if I was touching them," he replied smartly, flexing his green wings. "He's walking up, his name's first on the list. His initials are both A, it's hardly a surprise."

"Would that kid be aware?" Esther asked absentmindedly, standing on her tiptoes to try to see her new friend.

"No, Darkblithe's not strong enough at the moment to sense me, so the kid wouldn't be able to either. Still, it was a close call." The man sighed and eyed the chain around Esther's neck. "He knows you've got his feather."

"What's the worst that could happen, Chrono? It protects me, right?" She fingered the chain nervously.

"It gives you power, it's an entirely different thing than protection. Sometimes it's the exact opposite. Now he's in front of the vase," Chrono added hastily, updating Esther on the situation.

"Could you pause everything and let me go look?"

"No. That's a waste of energy." Chrono huffed and crossed his arms. "I only do it to teach you magic. Still, only Darkblithe could teach you how to use the power of his feather."

"Why can't he? We've found him, haven't we?" Esther turned to Chrono, apparently losing her interest in Arthur.

"We can't trust him. He upset the natural balance of things and now Aqn's got two successors, for Merlin's sake."

"Huh?" Esther frowned. "You didn't tell me about that."

"Funnily enough," Chrono said, looking down at Esther, "everyone in that car was a successor. There are four, which obviously isn't supposed to happen. We're all supposed to go out at the same time but Aqn got defeated first—"

"So when you two got defeated, there was a new successor for him? Everyone's the same age, though…" Esther frowned again. Chrono gave her a skeptical look and Esther blinked, realization dawning upon her. "Oh, yeah. 'Balance has to make its way, time is something, blah blah blah.'" She chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"If you keep on interrogating me, you'll miss his House being called," Chrono reminded Esther. Esther nodded and refocused her attention on Arthur.

A bit hesitantly, he dipped his hand into the water-filled vase, then gasped and drew back slightly. There were a few still moments as he stood there. "Come on, what's his House?" Elder complained softly.

"Be patient," Chrono chided her. She rolled her eyes again.

*~*~*~*

As Arthur gazed into the vase, he heard a gentle voice speaking to him. It was comforting and quite soothing, really. Hmm. Let's see here, it said, seeming thoughtful. You definitely remind me of him… Shield or Knight? What do you think?

What does it mean? he asked in reply, hearing a chuckle in return. Well, Knight sounds cooler, I guess.

I agree, the voice said. I think you'd be a Knight. Heroic, saving damsels in distress… The voice chuckled again, then exclaimed Look up! Arthur blinked and looked above him, seeing a symbol rotating above his head; a sword and shield crossed over each other faintly outlined in gold shimmers. He removed his hand from the vase and stood for a moment, perplexed, before realizing that he should probably go sit at the table directly next to the very same symbol he'd seen on his head. Oh.

He dashed over and took a seat, where some students smiled and greeted him warmly, then looked back at the vase again. Someone he didn't recognize was in front, dipping their hand in. A red dagger hovered over their head. So on and so forth it went until Esther came forward, seeming a little nervous and glancing at the table under the red dagger symbol. As she dipped her hand in the vase, she seemed more than slightly nervous and closed her eyes.

*~*~*~*

Before the vase could even begin, Esther thought as sharply as she could, If you make me a Blade I will smash you against the floor, okay vase?

That's exactly what a Blade would say, the vase retorted.

Screw you. Esther pouted. No, but seriously. I'm totally a Mind. Like my sister. Everyone says we're really alike.

Are you sure? I'm fairly certain you're a Blade, the vase taunted.

Did I not make my point clear enough? Esther gritted her teeth.

Well, look up. Taking a few moments to calm herself, Esther opened her eyes and looked up, with horror noting the red dagger floating above her head.

Screw you, she thought to the vase again before removing her hand and storming to the table.

"Look at it this way," Chrono reminded her in an attempt at comfort. "You only have to sit at your House's table the first day."

"I'm going to be spending all my time in the Master Common Room," Esther hissed vehemently in return.

*~*~*~*

A while after Esther had rather… unhappily been told her House, Max made her way up to the vase, giddy with excitement. Ah, this was going to be cool. Maybe she'd be a Knight like Arthur was. Hmm, a Mind, perhaps. She'd always thought she'd be a Mind. Closing her eyes, she dipped her hand into the vase.

Huh? it sounded shocked at first. Okay, that's weird. You… hmm. No, you're not quite the same… I think you're closer. Still, you're a Mind for sure. Pretty easy, to be honest. Next!

Max resisted the urge to pump the air as she hurried over to the Mind table. "Being a Mind is great, right?" she asked no one in particular as quietly as she could. She felt the warm presence like she usually did, like a comforting hand on her shoulder, and smiled.

Every House is great, the presence said before disappearing again. Must've been particularly glad on this occasion; it rarely spoke to Max.

Well, clearly being a Mind was the best of them all, Max thought to herself as she found a seat at the table.

*~*~*~*

Brad already knew what was going to happen, looking above him as he dipped his hand into the water. Blade, the vase said, sounding bored. Hmm—Shie—no, Blade, Blade definitely. You remind me of him, you know. Darkblithe.

He shuddered a little bit at how nonchalantly the vase said his name. How so?

Just the sense I get. You know, how I put you into Houses. He was a Blade at first thought too. Well. Head off to your table, kiddo. Brad nodded very slightly and walked quickly over to the table, still clutching Darkblithe's birdcage by his side. He'd refused to let go, and apparently it was believable enough that he'd been allowed to continue to carry the bird.

"It knew?" Brad asked Darkblithe. He received no response for a few moments.

"It was too close," Darkblithe replied. "Funnily enough, I don't have enough power to hide myself completely." He chuckled a little before quieting down.

*~*~*~*

Knight.

The symbol showed almost as soon as Dean had put his hand into the water. He gulped and asked, What?

What I said. Knight. You're a Knight. First I thought Shield, but no, Knight. I think. You know you can get a change later on in the year. But uh, Knight for now? The vase sounded a lot less certain than it had at first.

Well, at least I guess I'll be able to sit next to Arthur, Dean replied before removing his hand and speed walking to the table, managing to squeeze beside Arthur, who smiled and congratulated him.

*~*~*~*

Arthur continued talking to Dean for a while more until he heard Dragon's voice booming, "and that concludes the House assignment. Just a reminder that later on in the year, you can potentially get your House changed. However, there is no reason to do so if you are not in the same House as one of your friends. We have the Master Common Room where you can study and socialize with anyone from any House. You've still got to sleep with your own House, though." He coughed.

"And, here are your schedules. You're not being taught for this week so you can settle in, but you should probably learn the locations of your classrooms anyway." Picking up a stack of paper, Dragon threw them into the air and they suddenly flew all throughout the room, leaving red trails behind them. He smiled a bit to himself as they landed on the tables rather neatly.

He seemed ready to leave until he paused. "Wait… oh. Right! Food!" He clapped his hands and then rushed away. Arthur blinked as he disappeared from sight, then jumped a little as he realized that there were massive amounts of food all around him.

He looked disbelievingly at Dean, who looked disbelievingly back. "What?" he asked as if Dean would have an answer. In response, his friend just shrugged.

"No clue."

Arthur blinked again and decided that there was food, so he'd better eat it. With a smile, he dug in.

obviously knight is gryffindor, shield is hufflepuff (no one in there for now...), blade is slytherin, mind is ravenclaw

also like teensy bits of backstory, heeeey


Last edited by My name is Death on Mon Mar 10, 2014 7:34 pm; edited 2 times in total

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Mar 10, 2014 2:39 am

i think i'll probably be catching up with myth au in chapter count and then maybe updating both at the same time/switching off depends

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Mon Mar 10, 2014 1:19 pm

Cool.

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Post by Neo Phantom Patriot on Mon Mar 10, 2014 1:53 pm

Just for future reference, Qan and Naq are dead names. Their new names are Darkblithe and Chrono, respectively.

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