One Thousand and One AUs

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Mon Dec 16, 2013 2:54 pm

I've been laughing forever at this.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Dec 16, 2013 10:26 pm

Chapter 1

"Maaaaaaaax, wake up!" Elder threw pillows onto the floor and jumped onto them from the top bunk bed with a loud thud. Max stirred and grumbled. Figured, Elder had set up pillows to block sound after she complained about… well, the fact that Elder was kind of a noisy person without even talking. "Maaaaaax," she whined again. As the other girl didn't do as she said, Elder picked up one of the pillows from under her feet and lightly hit Max with it. At the end of her patience, she finally smacked her on the face.

Max woke, spluttering and shocked, and sat straight up in her bed. "What the hell, Elder?" she spluttered indignantly. Elder tilted her head at Max.

"Mom told me to wake you up for breakfast. Fuse's mom is making it," she replied, smiling. "Come on. Get up. Get changed. I already did."

"Why do you always whine at me to get up? You're not five years old," Max grumbled, still groggy. She sighed and threw off the blanket, stepping into her warm, fluffy slippers. "I mean, you're sixteen. Why. Just… why."

Elder blew a raspberry at Max in response. Throwing her pillows back up onto the top bunk, she grabbed her hoodie off of the coat hanger and ran off before Max could do anything.

"I've got the organic for that, idiot!" Max called after Elder threateningly. She didn't bother to chase her, because her mouth felt gross and she could do with brushing her teeth and hair. The sixteen-year-old girl sighed and walked to the bathroom grumbling.

*~*~*~*

"I ate the muffins without you," Elder said as Max walked into the kitchen, her mouth still full of them. She grinned at Max and waited for her to respond. Max just stared at her, knowing she was joking. "Okay, fine, here you go," she said, grabbing a chocolate muffin off of the plate she was hiding behind her back and offering it to Max. Max stared. Elder meekly put the plate back on the table.

"Do you guys have to do that every morning?" Fuse said, exasperated.

"Yes," replied Elder flatly, stuffing another muffin in her mouth. "Did you eat a chocolate muffin? You already ate the three that were yours!"

"You ate five and you're eating your sixth," Fuse pointed out.

"Dean told me I could have his!" she replied angrily, glaring at Dean for confirmation. He stared at Max, begging for help, but Max just smiled a little at his obvious discomfort. Reluctantly and slowly, Dean nodded. "See?"

"Well, you better give Dean that scrambled egg you have there, or he'll be hungry until lunch," said Max, sitting down beside Elder and taking a chocolate muffin. Elder laughed and pushed the plate over to Dean, who smiled and ate it thankfully.

"I'm full anyways," she said happily, only to turn to Fuse and scold him with "And that was Max's chocolate muffin!"

"Wh…" Fuse frowned. "Brad hasn't touched his. How can you tell the difference?"

"'Cause I separated them into sections. And you took one from Max's section." Fuse just shook his head and sighed.

"…Max can have one of my muffins," Brad said. Elder stared at him like she'd just been betrayed, but when he was about to say something, changed her face and just smiled. "…and, uh, Dean too, I guess."

"Thanks," Max said, taking a bite out of her muffin. Dean shook his head and said no, eating some more of the egg.

"Oh yeah! So my mom said I could go rock climbing later today! Does anyone else wanna come?" Elder piped up as the people eating grew silent. Finishing his egg, Dean politely said 'no' (to which Elder just grinned).

"Well, I'm kind of in the middle of breakfast here," Max pointed out, picking up another muffin. Elder shrugged.

"I'll wait. Fuse?"

"Are you going to bother me if I say no?" Elder smiled innocently. "…um, maybe."

"No," Brad said bluntly. "Come on, do I really want to spend more than two lessons' time with you?" Elder laughed.

"Well, I—" she was cut off by an announcement over the loudspeaker.

"MAY THE FIRE TRAINEES COME TO THE MAIN OFFICE, PLEASE. REPEAT, FIRE TRAINEES, COME TO THE MAIN OFFICE."

"That's us… I think?" Max said uncertainly. 'Fire trainees?' Elder mouthed disbelievingly.

"Where's the main office?" Fuse asked.

"I know where it is," Max replied. "Come on, let's go."

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Dec 16, 2013 10:28 pm

if anyone is wondering why i named them fire it's because fight fire with fire

it made sense in my head

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Post by Andrew on Mon Dec 16, 2013 11:15 pm

The water department should probably stop this building from burning down

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Tue Dec 17, 2013 1:35 pm

ELD D D D 3R wrote:
Makusu Max: bes assassin evar, 2ninja4you 360noscope mlgpro yoloswag2013

Today I tried to jump over a snowbank with the aid of a telephone pole so I wouldn't get all snowy. I ended up falling into the snowbank and getting even more snow on my pants than I would have if I'd just walked through the snowbank (on my right leg, I got covered in snow all the way up to my knee). I then pranced down the sidewalk because I wanted to run but the sidewalk wasn't shoveled all the way and I didn't want to trip.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Tue Dec 17, 2013 8:40 pm

clearly that is a very apt description

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Wed Dec 18, 2013 1:34 pm

Yep.

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Post by Andrew on Wed Dec 18, 2013 1:53 pm

Incredibly accurate.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:28 pm

WELP LOOK AT ME WITH A NEW AU I WANTED TO PUT IT UP ALL AT ONCE BUT I FELT BAD FOR NOT PSdHSHU(


He Lived

Part I

Pause.

Well, here we are. We have our happy ending. The hero and his companions defeat the big bad and restore order to the world. Hooray, hooray. Or I imagine some of you might say that. In my, completely honest opinion, well…

BORING.

So let's mix things up a bit. Rewind. Go past the entire adventure. Go past where every companion is met, where relationships are built… and—oh! here we are at the beginning, where a young man wakes up with new, unexplained, and uncontrolled power. Pause. Perhaps we could change something here? Let's see, how about …no. We need something better. Something major. Something that could change it all.

Let's continue rewinding. See what started this chain of events? This old man, dying. But before that came something he couldn't stop. That was the murder of his eldest son by his youngest son. Of course, it was never definite—never something clear cut. Everyone knew, though. They just… knew.

So let's change that. Pause. Valon was never tempted by Chaos, and as such he never disposed of his older brother. Instead of Valion's death paving the way for a long trial that would end with a nice, happy ending… something else happened. Something that changed everything.

He lived.

Now, with the tensions between Xyla and the Chaos Lord reaching an all-time high, Valion did what he thought was extremely reasonable, but was honestly only going to end the way it did. He entered into negotiations with the island. Or kingdom. Kingdom sounds more respectable, I suppose. At this point, though, is respect even a thing to be cared about?

In any case, he met with the king, accompanied by his general Arthur. The heir was of course not present; if worst came to worst, then it was honestly just a better idea to bring the general along. Valion did not come unaccompanied either, his daughter Saivel reluctantly following along.

At their first meeting, while the king and Valion got along as diplomats do, well, for Saivel and Arthur… suffice it to say it wasn't exactly love at first sight.

That, however, changed over the next few meetings. In fact it was completely—oh wait, I'm rushing this, aren't I? Hmm. Alright then. Let's go more in depth. Here we go, then. Prepare yourself for the first meeting.

*~*~*~*

A tall, black-haired man with a long purple cloak, a black shirt and pants, and matching purple armor landed safely by the gates of the castle, moving his dragon-head helm upwards to let him see clearly. His purple eyes darted here and there, faintly glowing bat wings gently flexing. Reluctantly, a young black-haired woman with white feathered wings landed beside him, her matching purple eyes staring into his, her face annoyed, golden amethyst earrings and a matching necklace adorning her ears and neck. Smiling a little, the man dusted off her purple dress and adjusted her black sleeves in a fatherly way.

The cobble-paved streets were empty except for the two of them. The woman, Saivel sighed. "Did we really have to fly all the way here?" she grumbled. Her father Valion replied calmly with "Yes," his bat wings disappearing into purple sparks. Looking around, he walked up to the gates, where two guards regarded him solemnly.

"I do believe I have an audience," he said. One of them rolled his eyes, then turned to the gate, which opened for them. "Thank you," Valion said in a threateningly polite manner, briskly walking through. Saivel sped up a little to catch up with him.

"Sooo… what exactly are we discussing and why do I need to be present for it?" Saivel muttered, taking in the castle. It was a grand affair; made mostly of a dull white stone, embellished with Orderstone, gold, and other assorted gems, intricate carvings decorating its walls. Many guards armored in the island's famed Orderstone stood around the castle, resolute and solemn, though a few of them only barely showed disrespect to her father.

"We're discussing a… treaty of sorts, I suppose." Valion adjusted his purple cloak, which was trailing on the ground, leaving strange purple sparks. "You're here because the king's general will be here. The general is there as a… a sort of bodyguard, you are here as a… sort of bodyguard."

"That sounds like a perfectly sensible idea," Saivel said as a guard allowed them through the massive oaken doors leading into the castle. "Bring your daughter along as a guard! I'm sure nothing bad could come of that."

"Your mother is… awfully busy, and I can't bring your sister along. That's a worse idea." Valion couldn't help but smile a bit at his daughter.

"So you acknowledge the fact that this was a bad idea!" Saivel exclaimed triumphantly. Another guard was leading them up the stairwell, though neither of them was paying much attention.

"No, I'm just saying bringing your sister along would be a worse idea," Valion retorted, smiling slightly.

"That implies bringing me along was a bad idea!" Saivel snapped, hands on her hips and full sass mode activated. Her father laughed.

"Okay, okay, you win. You don't need to come along next time if you don't want to. But I'd hate being alone," he added, gently nudging his daughter.

"Pfft." She stuck her tongue out at him. "Fine then. I will come along next time, if there even is one."

Valion's smile disappeared. "There will be," he stated firmly. The guard paused in front of a large, impressive door and opened it, beckoning Valion and Saivel to step inside. Nodding graciously to the guard, Valion went in, Saivel following after him.

The king was sitting at the table, looking none too happy. Saivel resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him, deciding it would be childish and not end well for her father. She found the urge harder to resist when she saw the general, his armor full Orderstone and his helmet held under the crook of his arm.

The room, in all honesty, was rather nice-looking. There was an oaken table in the middle of the room, at the head of which the king, dressed in fancy royal-looking armor (though it did not appear to be Orderstone) and a dark blue cloak, was sitting. His chair was more like a mildly less fancy throne, barely classifiable as a common chair. The general sat to his right, and Saivel supposed she and her father were to sit on his left. Well, too bad. There were a few other chairs scattered around the room. Picking up one with ease, much to everyone's confusion, she plopped it down a few feet away from the general.

Her father sighed and shook his head, removing his helm and holding it under the crook of his arm as well before seating himself. The general (Saivel could've sworn her father had told her his name) turned to look at Saivel none to approvingly. She rolled her eyes and smiled in return.

Oh shoot. The king and her father were talking. Better tune in. Saivel leaned forward in her seat, actually mildly interested. The general had turned back to face the king already.

"As you know, we haven't been on friendly terms before… but may I say that your attitude seems none too reciprocal of this olive branch I'm extending," Valion began.

"How so?" the general calmly replied in place of the king. Valion turned to face him.

"You could've been so kind as to not dress in full Orderstone, as if you view me as a threat. I would tell you I have no weapons, were that not technically untrue." Valion gave him a charming smile, neither the general nor king following his example.

"Given the fact you are essentially dressed in the same, I see no reason that I should change my manner of dress," the general replied smartly.

"Well, General Arthur Belnz, take a look at this." Valion placed his helmet on the table. "If you were to investigate it, it would appear to be, quite simply, a purple, but otherwise completely normal, piece of armor."

Oooh. Arthur Belnz was his name. Gotcha. Saivel watched the general hesitantly extend a hand towards the helmet with interest. Arthur picked it up with his right hand and stared at it intently, the helmet briefly glowing blue.

"It would appear you are telling the truth," the king noted, sounding a bit impressed. "I suppose it would be only polite if my general were to do the same."

"Your Majesty, if I may—" The king cut Arthur off with a simple motion of his hand.

"In any case, my armor is not made of Orderstone. In fact it's mostly for appearances, and would likely not protect me much from any attacks." Arthur frowned at this. "Yes, yes, Arthur. Security. Other trivial concerns. Please, leave the room and change out of that armor. It is only polite."

Arthur sighed and placed the helmet back on the table. "As you wish, Your Majesty." He pushed out his chair and stood up, Saivel smirking a little. His face solemn, Arthur left the room, letting the door close softly behind him. After turning to look at him, both the king and Valion turned back to each other.

"In any case, I suppose we should stop with trivialities and get down to our real business here. Lay down some terms for us to work off of." The king sat back in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest.

Valion picked his helmet back up and put it firmly into position on his head. "I believe all I can think of is something as simple as 'I don't mess with you, you don't mess with me,' but I doubt that'll work. I'm not exactly the most trusted individual. So I suppose you might have some say in my decisions, while keeping your general from murdering me?"

"Now, Arthur may be… less than trusting, but he would hardly kill you in cold blood. Still, that sounds like a reasonable starting point. We can go from there." Valion and the king debated politely over the subject for a few minutes. Saivel began to zone out. There really was no reason for her father to bring her along except that he would be lonely, was there?

Saivel was startled by Arthur coming back into the room, wearing a chain-mail shirt, steel pauldrons, and otherwise normal steel plate armor. A different helmet was held under the crook of his arm. Now Saivel could see he was wearing a coarse, dark blue shirt. If she was honest, he looked nicer than before, which she communicated to her father through a series of eye and eyebrow movements. He laughed a little and responded with a simple sigh.

"Ah, Arthur. Thank you for joining us again. And, uh, Miss Athess… will you be remaining over there the whole time?" The king smiled at Saivel kindly, catching her off guard. Her smile in reply was sheepish.

"Um, uh… no?" Saivel awkwardly stood up from her chair and moved to the chair next to her father.

"Nice to know you will be participating in this discussion, Miss Athess." She was going to have to participate? Groan. "In any case, what were we talking about last?"

"I believe about the whole say in my decisions, wasn't it?" Someone said something after that.

Arthur spoke up. "Well…" Ugh, this was going to take so long… she stared with dead eyes in Arthur's general direction. "…in any case, I believe we should at least be able to decide where you go, including Xyla."

"Well, then what about me?" Saivel asked, not entirely sure why. "I mean it's kinda interesting to watch some of the matches sometimes, would I have to ask for permission for that too?" she added hastily, almost as if she needed to explain her question.

"Fair point. You are going to inherit the title, after all." Arthur nodded and paused for a moment, allowing the king to speak.

"Valion's attendance would need to be worked out, because he obviously does not have the most…" The king paused. "People would not react quite kindly if he was in the crowd. But I doubt anyone would recognize his daughter."

"Still… se—" Arthur began to point out.

"Security? Would Saivel need two fully-armored guards on her at all times?" Valion asked incredulously. "Certainly that would tell people something was off. At the very least something more discreet. A guide; a chaperone of sorts."

"Yeah, I'd be okay with that," Saivel said.

"Well then if she wishes to come to the island, I will be her guide." Saivel resisted the urge to make a face. Lame. She had to be watched over by that guy?

"In any case, Miss Athess brought up an interesting point… concerning your family, Valion."

"Ooh yes, family." Valion sighed. "My wife will be of no threat to you, though I doubt you needed any assurance about that. My brother and my daughters, those would be who you worry about, right?"

"Well, yes."

To sum up the whole meeting, which honestly dragged on for quite a while and was mildly interesting but otherwise fairly boring… no decisions were really made, aside from that Valion's family would have to be accompanied by a chaperone. Seraphime would be an acceptable one, though otherwise Arthur would have to suffice (a fact Saivel remained annoyed about.)

As they came home, Valion honestly supporting Saivel a lot because she was tired,  Valion asked a question. "So are you sure about coming to the next meeting?"

Saivel sighed. "I promised, so I guess I might as well."

"That's my girl." Valion smiled as they landed by Saivel's home. "Anyway, I'm going home now. I'll see you in a few days."

"Sure." Saivel smiled wearily and fluttered up through the branches of the high, high tree until she reached the platform she'd made across a particularly expansive span of branches. Landing on the porch, she walked inside and wondered if she was going to bother to change and clean up before going to sleep. "Eh, whatever," she muttered, taking off her shoes and flopping onto the bed.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:31 pm

PART OCTAGON

OCTAGON OCTAGON COATOGO CTAGNO COATGA ON OCATGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCOTGAON GCOOTOAGON OCTOGO N OOTCGON OOCTGOAONN COTAGON COGACOCTAON OGCTAO COATNO OCTAGON COATGON OCTAGON OCTAGON COATOGO CTAGNO COATGA ON OCATGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCOTGAON GCOOTOAGON OCTOGO N OOTCGON OOCTGOAONN COTAGON COGACOCTAON OGCTAO COATNO OCTAGON COATGON OCTAGON OCTAGON COATOGO CTAGNO COATGA ON OCATGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCOTGAON GCOOTOAGON OCTOGO N OOTCGON OOCTGOAONN COTAGON COGACOCTAON OGCTAO COATNO OCTAGON COATGON OCTAGON OCTAGON COATOGO CTAGNO COATGA ON OCATGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCOTGAON GCOOTOAGON OCTOGO N OOTCGON OOCTGOAONN COTAGON COGACOCTAON OGCTAO COATNO OCTAGON COATGON OCTAGON OCTAGON COATOGO CTAGNO COATGA ON OCATGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCOTGAON GCOOTOAGON OCTOGO N OOTCGON OOCTGOAONN COTAGON COGACOCTAON OGCTAO COATNO OCTAGON COATGON

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Post by Neo Phantom Patriot on Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:37 pm

>Coatgon

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:39 pm

YOU TRY TYPING OCTAGON OVER AND OVER AGAIN WITHOUT ANY ERRORS

BUT FINE

OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGONOCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGONOCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGONOCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGONOCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGONOCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGONOCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON

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Post by Neo Phantom Patriot on Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:44 pm

I will try.
Octagon:
OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON OCTAGON

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Jan 20, 2014 8:35 pm

WELL BLEEH

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Post by Andrew on Mon Jan 20, 2014 9:28 pm

I await part 2

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Jan 20, 2014 10:45 pm

Xia Potter

Prologue

In the middle of the night, a young, brown-haired boy slept peacefully in his bed. Multiple photographs adorned his walls, a few coming into view as a light fluttered into his room. The boy stirred as a white dove alighted on his bedpost. It tilted its head at the boy, cooing softly in interest. A small, bright green bird--a lesser green broadbill, to be specific--followed after the dove. Both looked at each other, then at the boy.

Suddenly, they were interrupted as a large, jet-black raven fluttered in through the window. The boy stirred again, frowning in his sleep. Both the broadbill and the dove turned to look at the raven with clear distaste. The raven paid them no mind, looking at the boy with interest.

Finally, all three of the birds looked at each other, the larger raven seeming confident. For a few minutes they remained at this standstill, until the raven hopped down from the head of the bed onto the boy's blanket.

This the two other birds seemed to take as an act of defiance, and fluttered towards the raven. One of the boy's eyes opened a crack, just as all three of the birds fluttered out of the window.

Thinking of it as nothing, he sighed, turned over, and went back to sleep.

*~*~*~*

As it so happened, on that same night, an unnaturally small, bright red dragon fluttered into another brown-haired boy's room. It hopped along assorted tables and finally onto the boy's bedpost, looking at him curiously with smoke gently wafting from its nostrils. Then, with what was quite possibly a smile, it hopped out through the window and flew away into the night.

(i wonder who these two brown-haired boys could be???? ?? ? ?????)

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Post by no mom its ironic on Tue Jan 21, 2014 2:26 am

ooh look it's relevant to he lived

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i wonder who they could be?? ? ?? ????

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Post by Andrew on Tue Jan 21, 2014 10:21 am

you already spoiled this for me

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Tue Jan 21, 2014 2:08 pm

Nice.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:54 pm

how could you not predict that tho man

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Post by Andrew on Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:54 pm

~Nobody knows~

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Post by no mom its ironic on Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:58 pm

you'd have to have no shipping sense at all

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Wed Jan 22, 2014 3:31 pm

*sigh* Fuse is a failure. Get the canon cannon.

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Post by Andrew on Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:08 pm

Spoilers: The canon topic has 666 replies

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:12 pm

Huehuehuehuehue

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