One Thousand and One AUs

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Thu Jan 15, 2015 1:59 pm

This is brilliant madness.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Jan 17, 2015 3:57 am

crossovers, you are dumb go away i havent even watched either of those shows in over a freakin year jesus fuCK

on the other hand, REMEMBER TO DO THAT DRAWING SHIT ELDER YOU DUMBASS

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Jan 17, 2015 3:59 am

you wont be able to write any of these people in character elder get a fukcing grip

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Jan 17, 2015 6:07 am

i was doing some later-than-advisable writing when suddenly it was gone.

well.

thanks, tablet.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Jan 17, 2015 7:13 pm

its for the best tbh but

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sat Jan 17, 2015 11:22 pm

im going to use random.org to decide whether to write Thing I Will Most Definitely Regret now or later.

if it is less than 25 i will write shit now and from 26-50 in like 30 minutes, 51-75 after dinner, 76-100 NOT TODAY

37

...........................

maybe i can just. not post it

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sun Jan 18, 2015 3:15 am

tbh the only other thing i think im really somewhat motivate to write rn is just

depressing shit so i dont know if thats the best

for instance im writing music metaphor au right now and hooray for saivel feeling like a piece of shit the original ending i planned was for jinora to kill saivel by hanging her with her own scarf but to be technical about it it wouldve been an assisted suicide bc saivel purposefully put orderstone dust over it so it could actually kill her. sorry im just kinda not feeling it recently or just anything. at all.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sun Jan 18, 2015 3:19 am

shit actually i had an idea for writing from valon's point of view but also second person about chaos taking him over

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Post by no mom its ironic on Sun Jan 18, 2015 3:23 am

shut up brain elder dont make it a fucking poem jesus fcuc

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Jan 19, 2015 12:47 am

i wrote a thing im so proud

chapter six: a note out of tune

Now that they weren’t busy looking for Saivel, she was able to assist the group on their way back home. Once the four were in an area Kaime was certain was completely empty, she paused and took a deep breath.

“I haven’t tried this before,” she admitted, turning to look at Venia (presumably for reassurance). “But… there’s a first time for everything, right?” Saivel smiled nervously, scanning the others to try and find one in return.

Aaron rolled his eyes. He found her joke a little amusing, but when it was his safety that she was talking about, it made the matter much more serious. “Let’s get it over with before someone decides it’s not worth the risk.”

“Would that someone be you?” Saivel quipped back, and then jerked her hand through the air. A jagged line of purple sparks trailed several feet behind it, and then the line suddenly split reluctantly. It formed a rough hole, which continued widening with worrying speed until Saivel snapped her fingers—and it just stopped.

She judged the size of the portal and glanced over at Kaime. “I think it ought to be big enough. Kaime, do you mind being the first victim?”

For a few seconds it seemed as if Kaime might have said ‘no,’ but instead they just gave Saivel an unreadable sort of look which she certainly seemed to understand and stepped towards the portal. Saivel was barely able to keep a confident expression as Kaime’s green eyes met her own purple ones, and then in the next moment they crouched a little and stepped through the portal. Someone sighed in relief, and Saivel blinked in surprise; she hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath.

“Is he coming along with us too?” Venia didn’t mind Aaron’s indignant look as she pointed towards him.

“Yes,” he snapped before Saivel had the chance to say anything. She glared at him, Aaron glaring back defiantly, and then shrugged.

“Might as well, V, I suppose.”  Gesturing towards the portal, Saivel cleared her throat and changed the subject. “Anyway, who’s next?”

“I’ll go,” Aaron volunteered, and was surprised to see that apart from Saivel giving him an odd look, she did not otherwise protest, but simply shrugged once more as if to say ‘your choice.’

Truth be told, Aaron did not entirely trust the portal. Yes, Kaime had stepped through it, but a forest spirit was hardly the best frame of reference. You’re a vampire, he reminded himself, you might even be worse.

He supposed getting it over sooner than later was a good idea, and without letting him think about it too much, stepped through the portal.

The air seemed to shift around him, warp and push against him and tug at him all at the same time. Yet the actions were subdued, as if a massive wave crashing against the shore was being transformed to a weak ripple in a pond.

In the blink of an eye (quite literally—Aaron blinked as his feet hit solid ground) he was standing in a clearing. Trees with half of their brown leaves hanging on were interspersed with ones whose needles were still a lively green. The grass beneath his feet was slightly yellowed, popping up in tufts breaking up the dark brown of the ground.

“Welcome to my forest.” Not expecting the voice, Aaron looked up with a start and found Kaime, looking at him with what could be amusement, but with Kaime it was always hard to tell.

To his credit, Aaron didn’t get embarrassed; why should he be, anyway? He was allowed to look around a forest if he wanted to. “So…” He paused. “…Why are we in your forest?”

“Saivel’s home is nearby.”

“Oh?” Aaron raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Why is that? I thought you two were just friends.”

“It is safe,” Kaime stated matter-of-factly. Well, that hadn’t worked. “Once Saivel and her friend are through, we’ll go there.”

“Not me.”

Instead of asking anything, Kaime just turned to look at Aaron. Their gaze was strangely unnerving, unblinking.

Out of nowhere Aaron realized just how inhuman Kaime was, only to once again remind himself that he was a vampire, for the love of the Lords (that was certainly a different phrase when one of those was probably not far behind him, or perhaps she would be a Lady instead then?).

Still, it was different. Aaron, at least, had once been human. Kaime had never had the privilege, or misfortune, perhaps, to do that.

Weren’t forest spirits able to change their shapes to whatever they so wished? Why, then, did Kaime choose to become human?

Those questions were shoved aside abruptly as Venia came stumbling through the portal and immediately asked, “Why are we in a forest?” only for Saivel to arrive immediately after and playfully shove her out of the way.

“Because I live here,” Saivel replied, gazing around. “I did well for my first time! Well, I’m the next clearing over, but close enough.” She grinned smugly at her company, then realized the portal was still open and clapped her hands. Within seconds it had flattened itself out into a thin purple line, and then disappeared entirely.

“Let’s go,” Kaime said softly, and started walking before anyone said anything in agreement. Saivel frowned at his back; she could tell they were upset, and they—they deserve to be upset with me, she admitted to herself. They had been so worried, had seen the state she was in and thought the worst, and her note must’ve been small comfort. And was she entirely out of it, that state of mind? No, and perhaps she would not be for some time.

“I’m not coming,” Aaron announced. Saivel started and turned to face him.

“Don’t you want answers to your questions?” Venia blurted out, confusion evident on her face. Aaron glanced at her, looking slightly annoyed.

“Yes, but those can wait till later. Right now, I’m hungry. And that’s more important.” He looked over at Saivel. “I’ll see you tomorrow, if you don’t mind, but if you do, as well.”

She smiled a smile that was threatening at the same time. “How will you find me?”

“I’m an assassin,” he stated. “Take a guess.”

Since no one protested his leaving, Aaron turned and walked in a random direction. The forest couldn’t go on forever, and he could get a faint whiff of an appetizing meal from that direction. Best not to think about that too much; he had to feed as inconspicuously as possible, but his hunger was getting in the way of planning that out.

You’ll get answers tomorrow, Aaron, he reassured himself, and left the others behind.

*~*~*~*

A hollow thunk sounded out as Saivel slammed the bottle of wine against the table. “Fucking empty,” she hissed as if somehow that would make it refill itself. Recently she’d been destroying her store of alcohol, and a part of her spoke up, reminding her that that wasn’t a good thing. Of course it wasn’t, because now she was running low, and if she ran out that would just be a damn tragedy.

Someone knocking at the door made Saivel look up and pause. Venia and Kaime had headed out a little while earlier, V insisting she explore around the forest. Half for her safety and half for the safety of everything in their territory, Kaime had accompanied her. It was too soon for them to be back yet, though.

Oh. She’d arranged to meet with the king and his general, of course. How could she have forgotten?

Wait, how had they found her house in the first place? Weren’t they supposed to talk at the Citadel? As part of being Chaos Lord, they always lived in the Citadel, but Saivel… she just didn’t feel ready for it, because that would mean acknowledging that she was Chaos Lord.

That would mean acknowledging her father, grandfather, and uncle were all dead, and she wasn’t ready for that.

She wasn’t even ready to use anywhere near the full scope of her power, or to accept it. It was hard to describe accurately, but she kept on trying to push it away, restraining herself to simpler spells so she wouldn’t instinctively try to reach out for more power and other such tactics. Sure, the chaos would make its way to her eventually, but damn if Saivel wasn’t going to try delaying fully assuming the title of Chaos Lord for as long as fucking possible.

Once again, there was a knock at the door. Saivel sighed and took a moment to drag her fingers through her hair to get it into some semblance of order and then stepped delicately over the mess that was her kitchen.

Slowly, wanting to delay this meeting for as long as possible, Saivel made her way to the door. Perhaps she ought to be ashamed of the mess that was her house, but she… didn’t care. At least if she had been drunk off her ass she would’ve been happy and uncaring, but now she was just uncaring entirely, the feeling of blankness permeating her entire being.

The doorknob was cold. Saivel twisted it forcefully and opened the door, coming face-to-face (or, more accurately, face-to-nose) with the king of Xyla.

“Good afternoon, your majesty,” she managed to say in half-hearted courtesy. The king looked her over with a concerned face but said nothing about her appearance. “Sorry for the mess, by the way. I expected you to come to the Citadel but—um.” Saivel paused; she hadn’t been at the Citadel, so that made no sense. Instead of speaking any further, she just stepped aside and gestured for the king and his general to enter the room.

They did so and Saivel loathed the way they walked, knowing it was stupid but hating it nonetheless. The king’s air was noble, majestic—he was a king, and she was a fucking child.

As if through a haze, Saivel realized she had left a knocked-over wine bottle on the table by the chair she usually sat in and she should probably care about that. Well, she would care about it later, and for now she would sit down and pretend she knew what she was doing.

Across from her, she could tell the general (Arthur, right), was wondering exactly what type of person she was for her home to be that much of a mess. The king, however, had that terrible look of pity about him that Saivel absolutely despised.

She swallowed and paused, having no idea whatsoever what to do or say in this sort of situation. “I’m afraid I’m not exactly sure what to do,” she stammered out with a nervous smile. “I never went along with—with my grandfather, to… on his meetings.” That was good, you didn’t mess up too many times there, Saivel reassured herself.

The look the king gave her was not threatening or upset in any way, and yet it still managed to chill Saivel to the bone. He was concerned. Why was he concerned?

“It’s quite alright,” he began, and Saivel waited impatiently for what was to come next. “Honestly, I was more concerned about your wellbeing first before we continued any negotiations.”

Arthur’s expression remained stoic, but the way his eyes flickered towards the king for a few moments indicated that he hadn’t been informed of this. Saivel paused to process what she’d just heard for a few seconds and then hurriedly said, “There’s no reason to worry, your majesty, I’m perfectly fine.”

“Your grandfather, father, and uncle all died in the process of your ascension, Saivel,” the king gently reminded her. “It’s unreasonable to assume you would be ‘perfectly fine’ after that series of events.

“To add to that, it hasn’t been very long since you ascended either, and though it varies from individual, you don’t automatically achieve technical immortality.” The king sighed. “Quite simply, you might be at risk of an assassination attempt.”

Saivel froze up visibly, remembering how Aaron had asked her if she had known anyone who would want her dead. She tried and failed to maintain her smile as she lied through her teeth. “That—Kaime keeps the forest perfectly safe, your majesty.” Arthur studied her face carefully, saw how her hand clenched into a fist. “Besides, I understand that Chaos Lords aren’t exactly the most popular, but someone to go to such lengths to try and kill me… no one bears that sort of grudge against me.”

Someone does, she might as well have been saying.

The king frowned just slightly. “If you are completely certain…”

“I am, your majesty, you need not concern yourself with my safety.” Saivel cleared her throat. “I, er… is that all you wanted to talk with me about?”

“Yes,” he admitted. “In that case… I shall leave you for now. But do be on guard, Saivel.” He stood and bowed slightly. “Please inform me whenever you are open for a meeting.”

“Yes, of course,” Saivel blustered as the king and Arthur made their way out of her home. Lords, Saivel, she thought, you’re not any good at this shit, what the fuck are you doing?

As she closed the door, Arthur gave her face one last look. She was most definitely not ‘perfectly fine,’ and she had most definitely been lying. The king turned to walk away, but Arthur stopped him. “Your majesty…”

“Yes, Arthur?”

“…might I take some time to, ahem, ensure the safety of the new Lord?” That sounded like a plausible enough reason.

“…you thought she was lying as well,” the king sighed.

“…well, yes, your majesty. Perhaps the forest spirit shall give us more truthful answers?” Arthur suggested hopefully.

“Perhaps,” the king replied. “Take your time, Arthur. I shall return to Xyla at dusk, however, so do not take too long.”

“Of course, your majesty,” Arthur said, bowing quickly. The king nodded and then turned again, walking out of the forest.

Now where could that spirit be?...


Last edited by elder on Sat May 23, 2015 10:50 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Mon Jan 19, 2015 6:41 pm

Congratulations on getting writing done!

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Jan 19, 2015 7:34 pm

id like to thank my family and friends for this award

and also the

children

yes

the children

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Mon Jan 19, 2015 10:18 pm

I read that in a creepy mind control monotone.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:39 am

believe it or not ive actually been writing recently

its just something im never going to post because its TERRIBLY self indulgent and its a TERRIBLE crossover and basically all you need to know is its trash and im trash

currently trying to decide on whether or not to include a PLOT TWIST or not because on the one hand its... workable, but still kinda dumb-ish, but on the other hand why the fuck not i will enjoy myself and nothing will stop me

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Mon Jan 26, 2015 1:50 pm

DO IT

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Post by no mom its ironic on Tue Jan 27, 2015 11:49 pm

so

i managed to hint fuse into guessing what the self-indulgent crossover is crossed with

one of them is lox

the other

Spoiler:
are you ready for this:
are you sure?:
like, totally sure?:
seriously, how sure are you?:
fuse was in shock after figuring it out:
but that might just've been him who knows:
okay. okay here it is:
6:28 PM - some asshole: HELLO should i write crackfic or self-indulgent thing
6:28 PM - Andy: "pick your poison"
6:28 PM - Andy: uhhh
6:28 PM - Andy: depends on the type of crackfic
6:29 PM - some asshole: why, of course it's the crackship crackfics
6:28 PM - Andy: self indulgent thing
6:29 PM - some asshole: nice
6:29 PM - some asshole: i feel kinda tempted to reveal what the self indulgent thing is now but hHEEHE
6:29 PM - Andy: it's homestuck x dr who
6:30 PM - some asshole: no, actually
6:29 PM - Andy: welp
6:30 PM - some asshole: anyway im... probably not gonna post it? id
6:30 PM - some asshole: idk
6:30 PM - Andy: If you won't post it at least tell me what it is since I'm intrigued now
6:30 PM - Andy: ;_;
6:30 PM - some asshole: well
6:30 PM - some asshole: it IS a crossover
6:30 PM - Andy: of what kind of things
6:30 PM - some asshole: it DOES involve a tv show
6:30 PM - some asshole: and lox
6:30 PM - Andy: ELEMENTARY
6:31 PM - some asshole: no
6:30 PM - Andy: ...frig.
6:31 PM - some asshole: pffft
6:31 PM - some asshole: i last watched it a while ago. actually i last watched it like last week but as far as you are aware it was a long-ass time ago
6:32 PM - some asshole: bep
6:32 PM - some asshole: maybe you wont guess
6:32 PM - some asshole: and will instead by CURIOUS INTO ETERNITY
6:32 PM - Andy: I don't think I will
6:32 PM - Andy: r i p me
6:33 PM - some asshole: i feel like the terribleness will be increased if you guess it instead of if i tell you
6:33 PM - Andy: Tell meeeeeeee
6:34 PM - some asshole: WELL
6:34 PM - some asshole: a lONG WHILE BACK, there was a roleplay
6:34 PM - some asshole: like im talkig a LONG-ASS WHILE BACK
6:34 PM - some asshole: hnngh maybe the other hint is too obvious
6:34 PM - some asshole: eh
6:34 PM - some asshole: crythos
6:34 PM - Andy: I KNOW IT...

...BUT I DON'T
6:34 PM - Andy: FRIG
6:35 PM - some asshole: you can check in the last page of the roleplay archives its like the only fandom one iirc. or actually
6:35 PM - some asshole: well
6:35 PM - some asshole: the only one that fits the criteria
6:35 PM - Andy: oh
6:35 PM - Andy: oh
6:35 PM - Andy: oh.
6:35 PM - some asshole: HELL
6:35 PM - some asshole: FUCKIN
6:35 PM - some asshole: YES
6:35 PM - Andy: oh.
6:35 PM - Andy: oh.
6:35 PM - Andy: oh god.
6:35 PM - Andy: oh.
6:36 PM - some asshole: are you ok
6:36 PM - some asshole: do you need, like
6:36 PM - some asshole: a shock blanket
6:36 PM - Andy: maybe
6:36 PM - some asshole: hm
6:36 PM - some asshole: i dont have any shock blankets on hand
6:36 PM - Andy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1qX0lyndSw
6:36 PM - Andy: this was what
6:36 PM - Andy: was playing
6:36 PM - Andy: as I got that news
6:36 PM - Andy: so just play that as you imagine casually scrolling through roleplays
6:36 PM - Andy: to read "my little pony"
6:37 PM - some asshole: PERF
6:37 PM - Andy: then just a resounding "WELP SHIT"
6:37 PM - some asshole: p ER FECT
6:37 PM - Andy: ALSO WORTH NOTING
6:38 PM - Andy: WHEN YOU SAID "ARE YOU OK"
6:38 PM - some asshole: thats the BEST PO S S IBLE  MUS CI TO BE PLA YIG AT THAT TIME
6:38 PM - Andy: BECAUSE I WAS PLAYING MUSIC IN FLAC
6:38 PM - Andy: WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER CRASHED
6:38 PM - Andy: THE SECOND YOU SAID "ARE YOU OK"
6:38 PM - Andy: I JUST PAUSED IT
6:38 PM - Andy: AND IT BROKE
6:38 PM - some asshole: i
6:38 PM - Andy: SO NOT ONLY DID THE MUSIC FIT PERFECTLY
6:38 PM - Andy: BUT WINDOWS BETA GLITCHINESS FIT PERFECTLY
6:39 PM - some asshole: well, IVE b r O K EN EVERYTHING PERFECTLY
6:38 PM - Andy: YEP
6:39 PM - Andy: CRYING RN
6:39 PM - some asshole: do you need tissues?.... i dont have a shock blanket but i have those
6:39 PM - Andy: NOPE
6:39 PM - Andy: THIS IS 2GOOD
6:39 PM - some asshole: ok
6:40 PM - some asshole: well
6:40 PM - some asshole: ...
6:40 PM - some asshole: its your choice.
6:40 PM - some asshole: i guess

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Wed Jan 28, 2015 1:31 pm

perfect

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Post by no mom its ironic on Thu Jan 29, 2015 1:34 am

*sudden temptation to write more of the non-au where aaron, fuse, and kaime are all still alive but everyone else is dead*

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Post by no mom its ironic on Thu Jan 29, 2015 3:51 am

well the first chapter of self-indulgent crossover is 8 pages (barely) but i feel like i could extend it further, because why the hell not, honestly?

debating whether or not to post it, maybe ill put like a google docs link so andy doesnt flip his shit or whatever

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Post by no mom its ironic on Thu Jan 29, 2015 3:53 am

also plot twist is still eeeeeh but i think i might not go with it because tbh its pretty contrived so

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Post by no mom its ironic on Thu Jan 29, 2015 3:57 am

aLSO ALSO. came up with an au idea for the title 'dead men don't bleed' finally

basically its like, modern and saivel and aaron are both hella criminals or something and team up to take down valon on account of reasons

(tbh the idea first came into my head because i could see venia buying aaron like really neat clothes and he's like 'wtf is this' and then 'where did you get the money for this' and venia's like *points at saivel observing from a distance* 'technically im supposed to use the money for myself but w/e' and aaron's like '.................................................um')

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:59 am

Niicee.

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Post by no mom its ironic on Thu Feb 05, 2015 3:39 am

well if you would like to see the thing (only the first chapter is dunded so far and that involves no mlp whatsoever) then here ya go

wound up adding a page of kaime reminiscing about their ~past ooh~

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Post by no mom its ironic on Thu Feb 05, 2015 3:41 am

also ive been thinking about a modern non-magic thing where they're all college students but i

dont really know wtf to do with kaime

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Post by Death is... kinda hot on Thu Feb 05, 2015 12:35 pm

Ooh, that was really good.

Kaime could probably be a TA or something.

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